As with everything else in the relationship dynamics, space is an unseen force that can be used to repulse or draw your estranged partner back in.

Stated succinctly, respect your partner’s space wishes to the degree that it is not abandonment. Don’t be a push-over, but don’t be rude either. If your partner asks you to come over, the go, no mind games. If your partner is rude - then leave or get out of their space as respectfully as you can.

You must be kind enough to understand that your partner is going through a major emotional spell at the moment. Read that again, at the moment. You must love your partner enough to realize that emotions will come in and out, but you must remain strong while they are going through this even though it causes you pain. Love backed by the living God can do this - call on him for help.

At certain points you may feel the urge to “call” your spouse or the uncontrollable urge to buy things for them, send cheesy romantic gifts, etc. What you must realize that some of this CAN be okay, but initially will be perceived as fake, too late, violating their space, and in many cases will only make them angry and think of you as being creepy at times. Do not build any “shrines” to your partner. Do you remember your first date? Would you say “I love you” on the first date? That is about the same level you are operating at right now - unless - your partner has stated that you never say “I love you”! You must learn to sense at what level your relationship has moved to. Look for their invitations as the marriage progresses away from divorce.

If you have a panic attack and absolutely can not resist calling your spouse, then try to send a “one way” message and make it short. The reason for this is sometimes your spouse view you calling as a trust issue (i.e., you do not trust them and the purpose of the call is to check up on them). If you violate this rule while you are panicking you will have a lot of recovery work to do. See confidence_building

It is acceptable to ask your partner how much space they actually need. Try to flow with it like a river.

You want to stay as geographically close to your spouse as possible. Having your spouse move out or away is generally not a good idea for saving the marriage as every bit of distance makes it easier for the relationship to erode further. If you find that your spouse is suggesting moving out, then it may be okay to stall; however, be careful about agreeing to this. if you stall too long they will sense it and you have violated the rule of respecting their wishes and will move out anyway if they truly want to. You’ll have to sense it as you go. In some cases, you may have to duck out of the house for a couple of days to give your partner some space and to help delay them moving out if they are intent upon it.

Spouse has moved out