I suspect that some people are born gay or lesbian or whatever so that it is a challenge they can overcome. Some people are born with tempers. Some people become kleptomaniacs.

Each of us have things to overcome in each lifetime, I suppose. Thank goodness I wasn’t born with a predisposition for trying to take over the world or even pimping my body out to rich women as I would have starved to death by now. I guess some folks are born this way, and for others it becomes a choice. I don’t have all the answers. I know that I don’t have to like it, but I can also treat such individuals with respect and not judge them as that is not my place.

However, when things affect the world as a whole, I believe we have a responsibility to not remain complacent as well.

Apparently some mad scientist of love or possibly evil genius with plans to spawn his own fem-nazi lilith army has figured out or is close to figuring out a way to produce sperm from human females eggs.

Quoting from the blog article at:

http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/sciencetech/men-no-longer-necessary-for-sperm-production/750
(4 hits)

Scientists at the University of Newcastle have managed to create human sperm cells using a female embryonic stem cell (24 hits).

The researchers, led by Prof Karim Nayernia, had previously created primitive sperm cells from male bone marrow. They’re currently working on making the cells from female bone marrow, which would be much easier and more practical than creating them from embryos (4 hits).

Okay okay, on the surface from a “worldly” perspective – perhaps this is a notable scientific achievement. Perhaps this will bring about a new era of greater health and longevity. Perhaps. Yet as with all things, what are we trading ? Could this lead to a future not unlike that set out in the movie Gattaca (14 hits)?  Where DNA determines one’s fate?

Could we be setting ourselves up for failure by removing randomness in the natural selection process and messing with things we still don’t understand?  I could see a future where one day we are trying to get back to “pure seed”. Due to manipulating our own genetic codes and what not – perhaps somewhere along the way we lose something that we needed. By not understanding the laws of the universe – we perhaps forget something. Perhaps by manipulating these sorts of things we are in effect messing with other dimensions that scientists are just now even remotely beginning to understand.

Does this make sense?  Perhaps another perspective will help.

Here we have an article that indicates that babies born premature fare much better when they have touch from the mother’s skin.

Quoting from the article at:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2005/nov/17/health.medicineandhealth (12 hits)

It was a very small study, involving just 33 babies, and lasted for only the first six hours of the babies’ lives, but it’s interesting none the less. Bergman says 92% of the incubator babies got into trouble at some point; enough to need a doctor to step in – against only 17% of the skin-to-skin babies. The second group were “very much more stable”, he says.

I know from personal experience that the babies that my wife produced through our marriage were quite healthy after receiving mama’s milk. That is one of the things I love about her. Though I don’t have a control to verify against, in my own research about healthy ways to raise a baby – it was abundantly clear that there is no substitute for mother’s milk. Some things are a certain way – perhaps by design or evolutionary processes – whatever you want to call it but we ought to be careful about messing with things we don’t fully understand.

Why is other’s milk good, mother’s skin good, and in my opinion making families out of female eggs bad?

Think about the physical human body. Is there perhaps more to it? Is this perhaps a reason why – sperm cells shouldn’t be manufactured – not unlike the difference between manufactured vitamins and those from nature? Vitamins from factories work I suppose, but how well do they work?

In my studies of Eastern religions I had learned that there are various things called “chakra”. This is apparently the sanskrit word for little spinning vortexes of energy that make up the parts of ourselves that we can not see, at least those of without the gift of second sight.

Could it be possible that each human conception is a special moment for life to come about and that the amount of love put into the baby making process could often determine the amount of love that the offspring of that love would have – if this is possible – then what happens for babies born of test tubes?

Well, in the case of Louise Brown (15 hits), the first test tube baby – it seems that she came out fine and even got pregnant naturally. Since then, there have been millions born with this method. As I read the story, I noted that the parents wanted a child for 9 years – test tube or not – that sounds like a far cry from being conceived in the back of a Volkswagen as our American custom. This baby gave hope to millions who were unable to conceive. I imagine in the 70s it was a bit taboo at one point by religious leaders, yet now I understand that it is fairly common and we as a culture seem to be okay with it. Is there a line though that should not be crossed?

Continuing on about these Chakra. I’ve tested some of this myself and was able to get very “hot sensations” on parts of my body by stimulating them with my mind during meditation. I don’t know if I am doing this right or not, but it does seem to be in accordance with what others have reported.

There even seem to be some potential allusions to these chakra thingies even in the Bible (ESV):

Eze 1:15  Now as I looked at the living creatures, I saw a wheel on the earth beside the living creatures, one for each of the four of them.
Eze 1:16  As for the appearance of the wheels and their construction: their appearance was like the gleaming of beryl. And the four had the same likeness, their appearance and construction being as it were a wheel within a wheel.
Eze 1:17  When they went, they went in any of their four directions without turning as they went.
Eze 1:18  And their rims were tall and awesome, and the rims of all four were full of eyes all around.
Eze 1:19  And when the living creatures went, the wheels went beside them; and when the living creatures rose from the earth, the wheels rose.
Eze 1:20  Wherever the spirit wanted to go, they went, and the wheels rose along with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.
Eze 1:21  When those went, these went; and when those stood, these stood; and when those rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.
Eze 1:22  Over the heads of the living creatures there was the likeness of an expanse, shining like awe-inspiring crystal, spread out above their heads.
Eze 1:23  And under the expanse their wings were stretched out straight, one toward another. And each creature had two wings covering its body.
Eze 1:24  And when they went, I heard the sound of their wings like the sound of many waters, like the sound of the Almighty, a sound of tumult like the sound of an army. When they stood still, they let down their wings.
Eze 1:25  And there came a voice from above the expanse over their heads. When they stood still, they let down their wings.
Eze 1:26  And above the expanse over their heads there was the likeness of a throne, in appearance like sapphire; and seated above the likeness of a throne was a likeness with a human appearance.

They say that there are 7 major chakra (7 hits). I can’t help but notice how many times the number 7 is mentioned through out the Bible and even that our days are numbered in divisions of 7. Is this perhaps some cultural relic from our past that we use every day, but really don’t even think about – or is this cultural relic – this artifact – preserved in our cultural memory – an allusion to the bigger part of ourselves – pointing the way towards something much larger?

What do Chakra have to do with sperm cells and my faltering marriage?

I think it helps me to understand on some levels why my marriage started faltering. There are deeper things energetically and spiritually that we don’t understand. For the same reason we are not to speak ill of someone in our closet, there are reasons and why to things regarding sex and marriage that we as Americans, as Westerners even – have been largely ignorant of – and I as a seeker, am just now even beginning to become aware of.

I’m learning of new things termed “sacred sex” and how the number of sexual partners we have had can influence how well we are able to bond with our partner unless there is a great deal of sexual spiritual knowledge (17 hits) applied to strenghthen the bonds and release the other bonds. Perhaps this is why the Bible is so stern in its warning about fornication and adultery as it creates a very difficult situation to truly implement a divine marriage. Where one can “know” their spouse – literally seeing their point of views during sex as various spiritual circuits are completed.

Fornication. Avoiding it can be hard for us Westerners. I think it makes it easier to do if we know WHY these things can harm us instead of being given a list of stuff not to do. In general, if someone has told me I can’t do something in my life, then I’m going to do the opposite just to prove them that it can be done. My wife even suspects that I don’t love her and that is what this whole thing is all about. Wife, if you are reading – rest assured – I love you more than you could possibly know. 

Continuing though, make no mistake, each of us is at different levels and the more you are given – the more is expected of you, so whatever your past – believe me – I’ve had one too, I’m not passing judgment, but rather am attempting to explain things and to give you more knowledge about why things may be failing in your marriage and as I learn you can learn with me and seek to clean up both of our mistakes and BE good husbands and wives.

There is a hormone that women have called oxytocin (i think) that helps them to bond with whatever man they have recently slept with. Here is the challenge though – spiritually – each man creates a connection and kind of in the manner they used to explain how AIDS is passed – for each person you have been with – you have spiritual connections to all the persons they have been with. To create the truly divine marriage then – requires either being a virgin going into it or not having been with a lot of persons. There are exceptions I am learning, but for the rest of us spiritual seekers this seems to be how it works. Those that are in the “nations”  that are the gentiles metaphorically speaking do not seem to have as high a standard.

Quoting from the Bible (ESV):

Act 15:29  that you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell.”

These are the things I now find myself asking in regard to my spiritual quest and studies. In a short time, I will post a couple of things from what has been termed a near death experience that tend to either send people into emotional convulsions because they can’t handle it or aren’t ready to handle it – or they say Thank you. It is hit or miss.

With my recent astrological exploration, it seems that some divorces and separations are “written” into the stars, where as others are part of a karmic loop. I think mine is part of a karmic loop that needs to be broken. If you keep having that thing inside you that says “Don’t give up on her or him” – perhaps yours is a karmic loop that can be busted as well. We both have much to learn.

I do know that in general, healing of a marriage is a good thing. It takes time. I am now 16 months into my quest, rather, OUR quest (my wife included). I hope that my strength continues to hold out and for the sake of marriage in this apparently dying country – that my efforts at least inspire others to bring about healing in their own family and marriage.

Karmic debts.

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Well, something weird happened the other day. I have a nightly routine of praying with a pastor friend of mine and a couple other folks that I’ve begun ministering to on this walk of mine. Well, for some reason I got it put really strongly on my heart about one person in particular one night. I mean strong… I could feel this person’s pain. I had never met this person.

I prayed for this person in agreement with my brothers for 3 nights in a row. Prayers seem to have some sort of amplification effect when it is two or three people praying with all their emotion. It is a phenomenon I have noted. Emotion is key.

On the evening of the 3rd night – this same person was doing a prayer of her own. She was telling the master that she relents – she is tired of the way she has been living her life. She is in tears. On her knees (sounds like me in regards to prayers for my wife sometimes).

She calls my pastor friend the next day asking to be picked up – she is in some alley and is now ready to turn her life over to Jesus and all. It’s a start and a miracle. This gal has been popping pills for 30 years and just stops. Had her come to Jesus moment. I had mine. I think this time for me is just the period of testing that happens after the come to Jesus meeting.

Yes – I know about the linkage of Christianity to Egypt, Krishna, etc. I know about the law of attraction, new age, how to grow one’s psychic abillities, and all that fun stuff. I still have tons of questions, but what I do know is that people’s lives are being impacted for the better by this stuff in huge ways. Life was so boring before. Yes, this is painful what I am living through now, but it is yet so beautiful when you rise above it all and see the big picture.

“In complete darkness we are all the same. It is only our knowledge and wisdom that separate us. Don’t let your eyes deceive you.”

~Janet Jackson

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Well again, not to boast or brag, this ain’t me guys. He gets the glory. That’s right, his name is Jesus for most folks! Praise Jesus!
I have prayed and fasted. I prayed for “circumcision of her heart” as I felt directed by the Spirit. Sometimes when you don’t know what to pray for you have to ask. Well anyway, that’s what I prayed for. He answered in a big way. All glory and praise to Him – again it wasn’t anything I did.

She has put forth a set of conditions for coming home and they were fair. Keep praying that the enemy stop attacking us for now and to guard both our hearts. He has some more work to do on me yet, but victory is at hand. Devil, Flee my family in the name of our Messiah, Yeshua! Halleluyah!

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So here I am… probably have about another two to three months to have my divorce completed. Plenty of time left. It got me to thinking though. Each of the little coincidences or baby miracles or whatever you want to call them that have happened over the last two – three months. When did they occur and what were the conditions for what was in my opinion some sort of heavenly intervention?

1.) My back was to the wall with no other way to turn.

2.) I prayed to God – it is up to you, I trust and ACCEPT the outcome, this is what I hope and desire for, but I trust you no matter what happens.
3.) I make sure my heart is right. I spend at least a couple days making sure my heart is right. No unforgiven sins against me, and I’ve apologized for my own sins. Not self loathing, but rather giving them up to Him.

There seem to be some other minor conditions, but really this is it.

Now I suspect that there are times that similar to how we may do four our children God wants us to grow. I’ve described this in the past. It feels like He just up and leaves for a few weeks, that is, I don’t feel His guiding hand…. very difficult to describe…. the coincidences and stuff just go away… nada nothing. Then it comes back out of the blue.  I’ve thought about this some more, and I suspect that perhaps He also likes us to learn how to ride the bike without training wheels and we need to fall a few times first before we understand the danger and overcome our fear and also it gets us to the point of “no return”. Our backs are against the wall with nowhere to turn… who is the only one who can save this? It ain’t me…. sometimes that ol’ Master of Drama likes to show off and thereby deepen my trust in Him.

The first custody hearing got cancelled…. by a sick lawyer. I thought to myself… what are the odds… that had to be divine. Come on, … a lawyer passing out right before the hearing? I asked around and found out it wasn’t staged.
The second one got cancelled….. My God, that was impressive. The judge had an emergency. Wow…

The third one got cancelled….a trial  landed at the same time and ran over…

Her lawyer goes on vacation for the next one….

What is going on here?

I don’t know, but I know what my heart desires. I hope my heart is still in the right place.

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Oh God, please make my wife come back to me! I had said it probably a thousand times. Then something happened inside me and to me that I can’t explain. The best way I can describe it is for you to read the book Contact or go watch the movie. That scene right at the end where Dr. Arroway (Jodie Foster) is prompted to retract her testimony by the National Security Director and replies: “I can’t”.
I’ve seen it happen to other people. They are going along in their life. Something bad happens to them and they pray to God – he doesn’t answer. Then they give up. But, sometimes they place all hope in Him alone. God, please let me with the lottery and I’ll spend the rest of my life working for you. God please let the Mavericks win the play offs next year. God, give me a signs (14 hits) that you are real and if not – to hell with you. God, my wife want a divorce and I’m no longer strong enough or smart enough to make this work. It is up to you. Do what you will with my family, it is in your hands, man (501 hits). I give up.
That is in the marriage world. What about the ol’ medical miracles. We’ve all heard of them. Yeah, I know, what about the guys who didn’t pray and recovered and what about that study that prayed for several patients with no conclusive results on whether prayer is effective. What about all those people who never had their prayers answered. I don’t know, but He has answered mine time and time again, then he goes silent. Sometimes it is for a whole month. Then some flaw in myself is revealed and he comes back. No voices in my head mind you, but just little things that only I know about. Little coincidences that line up all in a row. Kind of like playing golf and making that one perfect shot. You can hack up the green all day, but that one perfect shot keeps you going. Kind of like that scene in the movie Ghost. The scene where Whoopi Goldberg says “ditto” to Demi Moore. Demi Moore instantly recognizes this spiritual BS as no BS, but I doubt any scientist would have been able to prove that personal experience was real beyond Demi’s mind.
Every time it has happened to me, it is as though I’ve gotten in touch with a spiritual side of me that I can only occasionally reach. Other people have described a similar experience. It some kind of “knowing” that everything is going to be okay. A new found confidence – a moment of clarity. I get away from everyone and pray in silence – in my room, alone. He is quiet for weeks at a time. Then He answers – out of the blue. Unmistakable proof of a PERSONAL GOD in my mind, but there is no way for me to explain it. The Prophets would often fast to get that spiritual connection. I just read the scriptures and search the Internet for clues.

Darth Vader once said that the power of the Death Star is nothing compared to the power of the force. I think of spiritual moments like what I have described in a similar way.

Another way to look at is life changing moments. One minute you have a somewhat smooth economy and the next minute the twin towers are falling down. What’s next? World wide bird flu epidemic? Don’t worry – science will save us, after all, a cure for cancer is just around the corner. I wonder though – did cancer exist before we discovered the joys of soft drinks and petrochemicals?
Don’t get me wrong. I like the outputs of science and math. I like a good diet coke too, and though I probably err too much on the side of an arm chair scientist, after everything I’ve learned recently those subjects have started to bore me. If we keep up our good science where will we be in a few thousand years? Instead of blowing up the planet with nukes, I guess it will be death stars with freakin star destroying torpedoes and everyone will be married according to a strict compatibility matrix. Life will be so swell and I bet we still won’t have a clue what happened before moment 0.
Oh brother, I guess I became an instant bible thumper. You know the term. You know people this has happened to and they have always annoyed you. Yet they have something you do not understand. They are like these way too happy goof balls that run around smiling all the time. Instant holy roller. Instant self-righteous bigots. Well I hope not, as I’m not fit to be your judge, but I can at least inform you of what I’ve experienced. I guess I suffer from the same mass delusion that many of the rest of us suffer from. The more I read the word the more treasures I find. What a complex piece of literature and life manual at the same time.

Ray’s prayer has been answered folks and I think we can see when the turn around happened (206 hits). Why did he answer Ray? I don’t know, maybe you can tell me why He answered me.

Our Father. Hallowed be thy NAME.

What was that name again?

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I’ve said before (134 hits) that miracles can and do happen. I also said that I would describe what happened to us. You must first understand some background as follows:

• My wife and I were living under the same roof with separate sleeping arrangements at the time.
• My wife is one of those persons who rarely remembers her dreams. She had remembered four or five the whole time we’ve been together (5 years at the time).
• At the time she had become effectively agnostic – her faith was waning.

It was Saturday evening. We had come in from a somewhat friendly yet weird “as friends date”. One of those types of dates where she reluctantly agreed to go out since she had nothing better to do and couldn’t afford anything else. We went out to eat at On the Border (12 hits) and then went roller-skating, which was something I had never wanted to do before but actually found fun.

Before we came home I had managed to anger her by lecturing a bit about letting go of her anger towards me. I pushed too hard. I had some recovery work to do.

One of things my marriage coach (179 hits) told me was to pray with her at night to help reduce the anger. So I decided to pray with or for her whichever she would allow. My wife was the type of person who refused to pray out loud. I asked her to pray with me and she said no as usual, but said it was okay if I prayed while she remained silent. So I prayed for her well-being and asked God to touch her and let her know that He is there (the actual prayer was about 10 minutes). We then went to sleep in separate quarters. The couch bed was my new home!

The next morning I was preparing to go to Mass (191 hits) and followed by service at another church that I like (non-denominational Bible Church). I got up at 6 AM and prayed over my wife while she slept. My prayer was quite simple. I asked that she be sent a “strong message in the form of a dream that would show her the right path”. I prayed about 30 minutes and then gently woke her to see if she wanted to go to church. I knew she would say no. I would have normally gotten annoyed if she didn’t want to go to church on Sunday; however, something told me not to press to hard lest she not have enough time to receive a dream. Something also told me that she would not believe me if my prayer was answered so I wrote it down in my log book (171 hits). I wrote down what I prayed for – and the date.

I went to Mass and guess what – the sermon was about marriage and why divorce is wrong. It felt very personal – almost orchestrated by God just for me. I prayed some more for my “strong message in the form of a dream about the right path”.

Mass was over and I went to pick up the kiddos from my grand parents. I called my wife and asked that if she was willing – could she get up and get showered so we could all go to the other church I told you about. The other church was going over Songs of Solomon in the Bible, and had some really great marital lessons I thought we both needed to hear. She didn’t sound very enthusiastic – I expected that she would still be asleep when I got home.

Finally I got home with the kids. Time was about 9 AM. I went into the room where my wife was sleeping and she had awoken groggily.

The first thing out of her mouth was – “I had a really weird dream”. She was obviously disturbed as she said this.

I immediately dropped to my knees and had tears of joy (something I had never had before). I told her I needed to show her something. I showed her my journal where I had recorded my prayer earlier that morning. She read it and was silenced for a few minutes. She told me about her dream – it was a very strong message and clearly indicated a path that could be taken, but the results of that path (divorce) spelled disaster for her. I wrote the dream down in my log book (171 hits) to preserve the memory. The next thing I know – she is getting all the kids ready for church. She actually paid attention in church this time instead of her “a bit stand-offish” self she had been in church lately.

God had answered my prayers numerous times in the past – sometimes quite directly, but never so quickly (3 hour turn around!) and never so directly (exactly what I prayed for). I told everyone I know and they all agreed that it was a miracle (1050 hits). Even if I never get another the rest of my life – I can hang onto this one.

Now you may ask how did I pray? I asked for His will to be done, for it to be a dream with a strong message, and for it to show the right path to her.

If you don’t believe in miracles I think you can at least sense that this story came from my heart. Miracles are out there – you just need to get connected with the Man upstairs – and learn how to ask.

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I was looking for other sites on the Internet that might discuss “Glass Gloves” (see about) to try and get this site promoted. I ran across a rather curious discussion on a site called Slashdot (nerd site), which is a site I used to frequent daily.

The discussion was about robots that walk on water. Eventually the discussion (12 hits) turned to the miracle of Jesus walking on water. What greater place for a debate on miracles than a site with an audience of nerds some believers some not. Do miracles really happen – and more importantly why is this relevant to saving your marriage? This is actually important for the most special of you folks out there – the spouse who has completely given up on the marriage. This is where my spouse was at and a miracle did in fact save my marriage. If you’ve given up on God, then it may be time to come back. If you never believed in the first place, then now is the time.

I thought the italicized joke from the discussion was worth posting since it illustrates the power of God in a funny way.

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