I can’t really speak openly about this part until perhaps one day I get to tell the whole story. For now this has been password protected.
Supposedly our case is going to go to a state called “null processed” in a few weeks if my wife doesn’t pay her legal bills. When asked if she was going to borrow some money to take care of this – she said no, she’s not going to do that. In addition, she recently told our daughter twice now, that it was going to take some time for her to return home.
She also seems to think that I may be dating and is getting jealous. This last weekend I went to Las Vegas for example and she thought I may have taken another woman with me.
Prayers are being answered slowly, but surely. There are many things that have happened that have matched the prayer life to a tee. I have documented these offline in the hopes that I can open the details up to a broader audience one day.
There seems to be a lag in the prayer life to answered prayer of about two – three weeks. The things I ask for are usually “baby step” forward progress items. I got my miracle awhile back, so it seems that I’m having to learn patience now.
Well, my wife has been nice for almost 1.5 full months now. Not a single cross word from her and her demeanor has been cheerful including making jokes. It has caught me off guard somewhat – my wife joke around with me – what what what? I had gotten used to her rather icey demeanor before. During our marriage, she would rarely joke around with me, or rather only once every 2 to 3 months or so. Laughter? I love to here her laugh yet it is confusing me a bit I must say. She is laughing again!
I’m hoping that this is a new phase and that we are both developing into better persons and able to rebuild on much more solid ground after clearing our respective temples.
She is not home yet though, so patience. Steady as she goes, I am doing as good as I could under the circumstances as friend told me recently.
In other news, it seems that there is some new movement in my mom and dad’s relationship maybe. I have been praying for them for almost 9 years now. My mom called my dad up and let him know that she still loves him the other day. This was a miracle of miracles. I am hoping that somehow my example is rubbing off on them. I think it is. A year ago, I told my mother what I was doing with my wife and she though I was insane for sticking it out. Now she “gets it” and prays for us daily. It is amazing to watch a heart change in an adult. Unfortunately, I only see it in children most of the time.
I see my mom starting to grow spiritually over the last year and it often brings me to tears of joy to see it happening. Her synchronicity events have been increasing as well.
I hope Dad is next.
We are almost 15 months into this party now.
I think the next step is to pray for signs pointing the way home for her. These prayers should of course not impact her free will. So please pray for the highest good for the both of us and our family if you are praying for us still.
FRANCIS: Yeah. I think Judith’s point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man–
STAN: Or woman.
FRANCIS: Or woman… to rid himself–
STAN: Or herself.
FRANCIS: Or herself.
REG: Agreed.
FRANCIS: Thank you, brother.
STAN: Or sister.
FRANCIS: Or sister. Where was I?
REG: I think you’d finished.
FRANCIS: Oh. Right.
REG: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man–
STAN: Or woman.
REG: Why don’t you shut up about women, Stan. You’re putting us off.
STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN: I want to be one.
REG: What?
STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me ‘Loretta’.
REG: What?!
LORETTA: It’s my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies.
REG: You want to have babies?!
LORETTA: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But… you can’t have babies.
LORETTA: Don’t you oppress me.
REG: I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! — Where’s the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!
LORETTA: [crying]
JUDITH: Here! I– I’ve got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans’, but that he can have the right to have babies.
FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG: What’s the point?
FRANCIS: What?
REG: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can’t have babies?!
FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
I don’t want to turn this into something it is not, but for the first time in 9 months my wife came by the house tonight. I had decided to clean it that day for some reason and she happened to stop by after it had been cleaned quite a bit. It wasn’t perfect, but could have been worse off.
Anyway, it was good to see her. It was the first time I have seen her since the court hearing almost three months ago. She actually came inside the house! I held back my desire to give her a hug and pour out my feelings that I thought were gone. I was getting to the point of not caring again. When I had set out on this trek – I think I had decided that I as long as I was given strength from above – I would continue.
I had prayed for the feelings to be reinvigorated… she stops by and boy were they ever reinvigorted. Be careful what you pray for – you just might get it.
Gee whiz – 11.5 months left to go on the insane journey to save the marriage against insurmoutable odds. I can’t believe it has been 1.05 years so far.
Thanks to all who are still out there praying and haven’t given up on me or us – especially the very kind person who keeps ranking my articles to let me know someone is reading and is benefiting from the story.
Really, picture that. A bobcat in a telephone booth with a girdle on…. that’s pretty dang mad if you ask me. Can you think of anything that would be angrier? When I was a kid, one of my uncles had caught a bobcat and had brought it up to grandmas house. My cousins and I stared rather fearfully and the forboding presence within the cage. It was spotted, but was hard to make out as there was just holes in the cage. My cousin put a stick up to the cage. I recall seeing a claw latch onto the stick as though it were lightning. Startled to say the least. Sssssssshhhhhh…. don’t tell CPS about a few kids playing with a bobcat in a cage.
Really though. Today was weird…… I mean weird. I had adorned myself in a pink golf shirt and a sort of chocolate brown straw hat. Testing out some new colors. I wanted to see if I could pull of light pink or not. Well, I pulled it off this last weekend, but anyway this was a bit of an experiment. Not sure how the PSTBEW would react. Anyway, I guess it takes a lot of confidence to wear a pink shirt and a chocolate brown straw hat or I am as fashion challenged as lil’ kim.
Any hoo, I had the kids at McDonald’s for the exchange. She asked me how I was doing. In my head, I was probably thinking something much darker. Like what the !@#!$!$!$!#!$!#!#! do you care how I am doing? How do you think I’m !@#$%!!! doing? Anyway, I made the angry thoughts go away and just replied okay. Control the tongue eh?. Still gotta work on that whole control the mind thing I guess though. Anyway, it was nice. I just soaked in the peace and issued a silent prayer of thanks. I found that I wasn’t attracted to her – yet was, didn’t really want to be around her – yet wanted to. So I just sat there…. doing my peace prayers…. talking to the subconcious… picturing things… peaceful serene…. relaxing – thanking, etc. We sat there for about 30 minutes or so. This should be entered in the guiness book of world records.
As we were leaving, I went to go get a pen to sign the child support check. She passed through the car doors somewhat awkwardly.. I’m thinking to myself… what’s this raucus (spelling)?
She says…. “Come here….” …. I’m confused… she wraps her arms around me… and squeezes. I push back just a tinge…. I say… “My PSTBEW’s name – Don’t do this to me… and tears started flowing.” Emotions.. powerful emotions come out of nowhere. The last 12 years replay in my head in a split second. Apparently, Spock has left the building and turned a 215lb man into silly putty in the arms of this woman. I tell her I miss you so much…. I squeeze back.. she squeezes. We sit there holding each other for what seemed like an eternity, but probably only lasted a minute. We both release at the same time… and she gets into her car. I drive off. Baffled and confused. Tears roll down my eyes as I drive off. I issue huge prayers of thanks. I caution myself not to read too much into this, but continue thanking.
I have no idea what this was about. Maybe she’s testing the waters to come home – just wanted to see what it was like to hug me. Maybe trying to be friends. Maybe just wanting to give me closure? Who knows. I certainly hope it is testing the waters and perhaps a movement towards reconciliation, but I guess we shall see. Currently, I am as confused as a spotted zebra walking around on a merri-go-round retro fitted into a roller coaster. How bout you?
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