Really, picture that. A bobcat in a telephone booth with a girdle on…. that’s pretty dang mad if you ask me. Can you think of anything that would be angrier? When I was a kid, one of my uncles had caught a bobcat and had brought it up to grandmas house. My cousins and I stared rather fearfully and the forboding presence within the cage. It was spotted, but was hard to make out as there was just holes in the cage. My cousin put a stick up to the cage. I recall seeing a claw latch onto the stick as though it were lightning. Startled to say the least. Sssssssshhhhhh…. don’t tell CPS about a few kids playing with a bobcat in a cage.

Really though. Today was weird…… I mean weird. I had adorned myself in a pink golf shirt and a sort of chocolate brown straw hat. Testing out some new colors. I wanted to see if I could pull of light pink or not. Well, I pulled it off this last weekend, but anyway this was a bit of an experiment. Not sure how the PSTBEW would react. Anyway, I guess it takes a lot of confidence to wear a pink shirt and a chocolate brown straw hat or I am as fashion challenged as lil’ kim.

Any hoo, I had the kids at McDonald’s for the exchange. She asked me how I was doing. In my head, I was probably thinking something much darker. Like what the !@#!$!$!$!#!$!#!#! do you care how I am doing? How do you think I’m !@#$%!!! doing? Anyway, I made the angry thoughts go away and just replied okay. Control the tongue eh?. Still gotta work on that whole control the mind thing I guess though. Anyway, it was nice. I just soaked in the peace and issued a silent prayer of thanks. I found that I wasn’t attracted to her - yet was, didn’t really want to be around her - yet wanted to. So I just sat there…. doing my peace prayers…. talking to the subconcious… picturing things… peaceful serene…. relaxing - thanking, etc. We sat there for about 30 minutes or so. This should be entered in the guiness book of world records.

As we were leaving, I went to go get a pen to sign the child support check. She passed through the car doors somewhat awkwardly.. I’m thinking to myself… what’s this raucus (spelling)?

She says…. “Come here….” …. I’m confused… she wraps her arms around me… and squeezes. I push back just a tinge…. I say… “My PSTBEW’s name - Don’t do this to me… and tears started flowing.” Emotions.. powerful emotions come out of nowhere. The last 12 years replay in my head in a split second. Apparently, Spock has left the building and turned a 215lb man into silly putty in the arms of this woman. I tell her I miss you so much…. I squeeze back.. she squeezes. We sit there holding each other for what seemed like an eternity, but probably only lasted a minute. We both release at the same time… and she gets into her car. I drive off. Baffled and confused. Tears roll down my eyes as I drive off. I issue huge prayers of thanks. I caution myself not to read too much into this, but continue thanking.

I have no idea what this was about. Maybe she’s testing the waters to come home - just wanted to see what it was like to hug me. Maybe trying to be friends. Maybe just wanting to give me closure? Who knows. I certainly hope it is testing the waters and perhaps a movement towards reconciliation, but I guess we shall see. Currently, I am as confused as a spotted zebra walking around on a merri-go-round retro fitted into a roller coaster. How bout you?

I now remind myself not to analyze.

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