Hmm… Maybe I’m not crazy after all. Looks like the military may be getting the idea around relationships too. Sell your defense industry stocks quick before they start pulling a Ghandi in the next war and realize that weapons aren’t really needed as bad as we may have thought.
http://www.desertdispatch.com/news/love_1402___article.html/bank_salazar.html (81 hits)

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Here is another story of a couple that managed to make it through the rough phase and are now helping other folks with this stuff.

http://www.modbee.com/life/faithvalues/story/62456.html (163 hits)

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Okay, here is another site I found. I honestly don’t know whether this one is effective or not. I didn’t use it in my marriage rescue operation, but perhaps it will help someone else. If anybody has tried this, I’d be curious as to whether it helps or not ->

http://www.marriagemax.com/ (256 hits)

I guess I should put up some kind of voting tool to rate the effectiveness of various resources that are out there.

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Somewhere on this site, I posted an article stating that one of the things that makes my wife get ummm…. frisky, is well just plain old fun. Yeah, I know, I know too much information, but I really believe that many times that part of the marriage is a symptom of how the other parts of the relationship are doing. This may not apply to everyone, but hey, it does to mostly everyone I know so go figure.

When I mean fun, I mean good clean fun, date nights, etc. That kind of stuff. Well this guy seems to have made a science out of it ->

http://www.playfulrelationships.com/CreatePlayfulRelationship.html (195 hits)

and claims to have the experience to boot. I’ve never tried his program, but if he comes to town I think we may check it out.

That reminds me of another concept though. It has to do with arguing. Arguments are so fun. Both parties usually have their blinders on and can’t REALLY see the other person’s point of view, much less ACKNOWLEDGE their flaws and weaknesses, until……………….. someone cracks a joke.

Yeah I know, it sounds stupid, but it seems to work.  You still need to play nicely with this during an argument with a spouse who is trying to bail, that is, don’t over do it. Each argument, I’d give it probably two or three shots at humor, any more than that you have officially become about as funny as a heart attack.

The first shot at it, your spouse will sit there angrily…. trying to hold on to their anger. I’ve got a right to be angry darn it. I’m going to stay angry. Then you deliver that joke and bam, you just loosened them up a bit.

All kinds of crazy brain chemicals or endorphines or whatever they are called are released. Happy brain chemicals start to bathe those oh so angry brain cells in their happiness, and then all of a sudden one of the angry brain cells becomes happy. Next thing you know, all the several angry cells have a bunch of revolting happy cells.

Then just for an instant you see your spouse crack a smile It is usually very faint. It’s kind of looks like ol’ GWB when he’s being serious. You know he’s being serious, but the guy looks like he has a faint smirk on all the time. If you’ve seen the pres of the US on TV, you should now have a visual of what I’m talking about.
Then the angry cells realize what is going on and squelch this little rebellion of the happy cells. Now is a good time for you to say…. “I saw a smile!”… then back off, don’t overdo it. Now your spouse is contemplating what to do about this……Back off Back off or you’re going to ruin it. If you did it right, they’ll smile just a bit more and try to be all bashful about it. Awwwww.. how cute, they’re trying to stay angry. Don’t say that though, otherwise you’ll get a nice punch to the groin or a frying pan upside your head. Really you shouldn’t be thinking that, but you know you were for a split second.
Now you do something completely off the wall….. you say, “look, I don’t want to argue with you, I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, but I really do love you. I tell you what. I’m going to take some time to think about what you have to say. Is that okay with you?”. Your spouse is still angry, but for just a split second they weren’t. Leave it at that and see if you can’t turn that split second into something bigger once you really and truly try to see things from their point of view over a day or so.

Congratulations, you’ve just left the argument on somewhat of a good tone, not the best but better than what it would have been, and now you can go do some more soul searching. Consider carefully, what your spouse had to say.

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I found another site that may have some value for understanding things in the marriage and what is going wrong with yours, but really I think this one is more for maintenance mode. The guy sends out free tips etc. from time to time. Be forewarned though, there was one tip that went out about “scheduling sex”. I can just see that going over like a lead balloon with my wife.

Husband: The owner of “smart marriage.com” says we should schedule sex.

Wife: Umm okay.

Husband: Well, can we schedule it?

Wife: I guess.

Husband: Okay, I’ll send you a repeating meeting request. Show up with nothing but a pink tutu please.>

Wife: Yeah, I’ll let you wear the tutu weirdo. Does that mean I can cancel the meeting if I get a headache?

Seriously, there is some good stuff there, but as usual, you have to go with what works and try to filter the ideas into what works for your marriage and be aware that some of it may not be appropriate for the saving the marriage stage.
http://www.smartmarriages.com/index.html (180 hits)

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So I found an interesting site which also happens to have modules for Sword (177 hits). For those who aren’t in the know, there is free scriptural study software out there called esword and the sword. Whenever you find something that is confusing or seems to contradict in the scriptures, I’ve found it can often be a poor translation. This software helps you slice and dice through scripture in ways much faster than you could with hard copy. Any hoo, there was also an interesting review of the marital covenant…. check it out here ->

http://www.eliyah.com/family/divorceremarriage.html (180 hits)

It seems to be a quick review of quite a bit of material. If you are in trouble with your marriage, for heaven’s sake don’t go reading this to your spouse as that will only push them further away if they are really angry with you. If not so angry, it may be okay.

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These two articles seem to sum up just about everything I wish I had actually practiced better before my wife and I went through the near divorce experience. Perhaps someone else will find them of use.

For the guys – Support your wife…..

http://wherewearebound.typepad.com/where_were_bound/2007/01/support_your_wi.html (288 hits)

For the gals – Support your husband

http://wherewearebound.typepad.com/where_were_bound/2007/01/support_your_hu.html (259 hits)

Some of this may be hard to implement for those whose spouse could care less whether you are alive at the moment, but I think it may help understand some of the basics you may have forgotten.

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Interesting site – http://liberalslikechrist.org/politicalmenu.htm (247 hits)

I certainly don’t subscribe to many of the views, but it does challenge one’s thinking.

The part that was really interesting was the divorce stats.

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I found a very good site last night about all kinds of things spiritual, political, and guess what – marriage related!

Good stuff, but please don’t use this to rationalize a divorce folks!

Top Ten Reasons to Stay Married (186 hits)

I suggest you check it out. One of the things that is clear is that he made it through the “rough days” with his wife, but understands that there may always be more. Something to keep in mind folks. It may not always be a cake walk!

I guess I’ll need to write up the top ten reasons why saving my marriage was worth it!

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One of the key things that you may be able to tell your spouse is just how much a divorce will hurt the both of you. Removing the emotion – it will be a mess for both of you. You can present the information, but remember to let her make her own decisions right now. You can’t make her do anything.
I started searching Google using “prevent divorce”. Most of the stuff that is out there is a bit theoretical with limited practical application. However, I did find a site (349 hits) that seems to be somewhat similar to the objectives of this site.

It also had some interesting facts and shocking stats about the subject.

The site didn’t have the source for the data, but interesting none the less. There were also some interesting articles here (242 hits) as well.

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