Archive for the 'Character Improvement' Category

Random Positive Seeds

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

Gosh. It has been 9 months. Never thought I would make it this far. I’ve been focusing lately on the power of positive. Trying to take captive every thought and emotion and make them captive to my Jesus inside. I am still weak at times and get angry over all that has happened. I get angry with her – angry with myself. Then stuff happens right as I need it. I am ever more confident now that it is God’s will for us to be together and for this family to be restored. I have yet to commit to the rest of my life, but I at least gave the committment until or if she should remarry.

Getting closer and closer to committing for the rest of my life. Charlene of rejoiceministries.org says it is a must if we expect deliverance.

I took some of her best pictures from our family album and place in my car and then one on a computer. When my love starts to fail they remind me of who she once was, and who she can become doubly so with the Lord touching her heart and mine.

As the doubt creeps into my heart – it tries to say to me – you are crazy for sticking this out. What good will it do YOU? Go away doubt. I don’t care about HER free will – I care about God touching hearts. He does it all the time. The Spirit is like the wind.

My pastor tells me that this is the biggest uphill battle to restore a marriage that he has ever heard about. Thanks. I needed to know that because….? Laugh out loud.

I now say to that negativity and doubt that creps into my heart, “She is coming home NOW because – it is right and good to put my family back together, I love her though it is not easy”. I try to speak to Yeshua as I say these. Imagining my brother and friend sitting there beside me – being sarcastic like some of my friends and I do to each other. One of the boys – telling me not to give up. Ignoring all other counsel to give up.

I use pictures and mental images of being on some beach together with the kids – watching the sun go down, eating strawberry bon bons. She at least took the kids to the beach, so I thank the heavenlies.

I picture placing her clothes back into our closet and watching our children go to school for the first day together.

The theme of the day seems to be seeds. Is harvest time coming in this season? Shall I harvest in yet another season?

Bill and Marsha Burns sent the following this morning:

Be aware that you are now reaping the harvest of the seeds that were sown within the past 10 months, whether for good or evil. And, these results will be specifically evident for two months, and then a new cycle will begin of sowing and reaping. Pay particular attention to what comes forth in this time because it will give you detailed understanding of what you can or must do to improve your productivity and success on every
level — spirit, soul and body, says the Lord.

Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

The law of Karma apparently.

I read about that last night as well in another book called the Psychic Workshop by Kim Chestney. It was on the radio this morning talking about the mustard seed of faith that grows into a tree.

I’m also learning more about our cycle in life. I know that our taste buds change. I also know that there are phases in life – differing levels of maturity and wisdom. This is a phase I remind myself. The law of cycles. Ups and downs. Ups and downs. Trying to break free. Learning to turn the other cheek.

This one from rejoiceministries.org touched my heart this morning:

Text removed at the request of rejoiceministries.org lawyers.

Had to take out the text because I got a legalgram (below). I gave credit where it was due and put the link up to their site, but it doesn’t meet the guidelines. I’ll see about writing them to get a non-exclusive reprint permission.

To Whom It May Concern:

We are honored to have anyone share our original material on other web sites, but certain guidelines must be followed. Please see – http://rejoiceministries.org/reprint.html .

Unless those requirements are met, we ask that Copyrighted material from Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc. not be displayed on your web site known as http://glassgloves.com . God gives us material to help as many people as possible, but still Federal Copyright laws must be followed.

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http://RejoiceMinistries.org

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Visual Octaves

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

Do ra me fa so la ti do!

Learning more about life as usual. Aren’t we all. So apparently there is another rule of how we and this world / realm that we live in is designed that I’m starting to see. Something called the law of Octaves.

Basically, if you know anything about music theory – you may be aware that there is sometimes a difference between the sound of the notes that are played vs. what may be measured by an oscilloscope or something measuring the actual frequency being played. Hence, if you look at a musical note scale – note that in some cases a few sharps are missing here and there. Same thing with an uneven number of black piano keys. Got it? If not google it. Now some of this is historically based, but some if it is just the way our minds process sound.

Well anyway, the way I understand it so far – is that as we set out to do something…. stuff starts happening – then our emotions may get in there and mess it up or somethine else happens – our action gets interrupted by external stimuli of some sort. Yeah, happens to me quite a bit, but I thought that understanding it would help me with my committment and my resolve to save my family / marriage. My faith, hope, and love had started waning severly. I had truly given up about maybe two-three weeks ago. Just said whatever. Tired of this. I had started to pray mechanically for a few days. Then something happened. A movement in the force. I guess I got stimulated by external factors – and it ain’t a movement towards reconciliation, but it was something. They tell me that this is perhaps her way of either releasing her own guilt, buttering me up to get a severe beat down in court, or trying to be amiccable, or maybe … just maybe… she is having second thoughts. It is probably all of that rolled into one is the sad part.

You ever listen to music by this guy named Richard Wagner? If not, you may recall the song played in one of the older Bugs Bunny flicks – called “Kill the Wabbit Kill the Wabbit”…..

or the song played in Apocalypse Now as the Vietnamese were getting shot at by American armed helicopters. You can listen to an example on youtube if you like:

This first one is not so nice. It is life though. It is the world we live in. Nature is violent. Okay, I’m laboring the point.

This one doesn’t have violence except for the trumpet / tuba players.

Anway, I recall from school that this Wagner guy, though a fierce Jew hating dude, did make some rather interesting musical pieces. His music was interesting in that he would never let the notes come to “completion”. Our ears expect a certain tonal pattern at the end of a progression of notes. If that note is not played it sort of leaves us feeling similar to the feeling of watching The Blair Witch part 2. Where is the rest of the movie – or in this case – where is the rest of the song? Anyway, that Wagner guy would sit there and build up and build up all this emotion in his songs and then wrap it up right at the end instead of the standard build up, climax, and then release pattern. Cool stuff I thought. Anyway, I guess I just noted that there seems to be a similar phenomenon occurring within this marriage restoration operation – as least from my very skewed perspective!

Anyway, I guess as I observed myself – noted that I had almost fallen victim to this whole octave thing and was going to stop before the song had been completed. I still don’t know what’s going to happen or if my resolve will remain, but I’ve gotten a new energy surge. Apparently, I really needed to dump some bad emotions over the last couple of days – the release fueled a tremendous amount of energy in me. I had an awesome awesome meditation last night. Got visuals baby. You know when ever you are day dreaming and sometimes you may see stuff as your eyes are closed, yet are sort of half-awake – half asleep? Weel, I Learned some new techniques and somehow got visuals – while awake. Cool stuff.

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Wait it out?

Friday, June 27th, 2008

2 years on average to restore a marriage…. we now have 1.2 years remaining in this game. I feel myself emotionally separating from her in major ways now – fighting it tooth and nail but it seems unavoidable. I don’t like it. I have fought and fought to hold onto the emotions of love, but sadly I see them failing me daily now. I pray daily, but the tears for her loss have passed. I force the emotions. I picture the whole family on some distant beach celebrating the summer. We were born in the same hospital. I’m always the “chaser” in our relationship. I chase – she leaves. I chase – she leaves. I find myself asking if I have been chasing her since birth.

Did my higher self, decide to chase her into this current existence? Was this experience planned out to the nth degree?

I no longer tremble when I pick up the children on our alternating weekends. I’m no longer afraid of whatever hearing may be arriving before the end of summer.

I find myself asking why it is that this path has been chosen for or by me. What lessons shall my consciousness, that I call me – learn? Is it patience? Even broader perspective? That which you judge is what you will be tested with? This whole site – the idea was to help others save their own marriages. What then? I have through my own power been unable to make progress in mine. I have seem only but glimpses of vibe. A glimpse of perhaps greater light.

Man = the Sun. Woman = the Moon. They reflect our light in the relationship. New spiritual law I’ve learned of. Makes sense doesn’t it?

The song below expresses the opposite of my feelings at this moment in time. If man = Sun, and woman = moon and she reflects what light I project, then what may she reflect back? What light is that? Self-confidence enough to let her go her own way or giving up? What light may then be reflected back by doing that? We shall see.

A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. otherwise I cant go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire acts a little old.

But Im still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and Im still right Here.

But Im still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. and Im still right Here.

Im gonna wait it out

If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path Ive chosen here, I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

Im gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal

The damaged and broken met along this tedious path Ive chosen here,

I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

I still may. and I still may.

Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this…

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.
And I still may. and I still may. and I still may.

Im gonna wait it out.
Im gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.

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Demon Fighting, but Jolly Apple Lovin Trolls

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

So, obviously my marriage is close to death. That is okay. I expect that this is just part of the cycle of life, that this is something that must occur before it could ever be rebirthed. However, I thought I’d share something quick about some of the mistakes that others can avoid. Our pain becomes your knowledge. I had felt that due to my marriage falling apart that I had lost a lost of value in writing about this stuff. I mean really, what do I know? But, I also realized that we can learn from others’ mistakes and it doesn’t always require experiential knowledge to do so.

In my marriage rescue operation, I fell victim to something I call “back draft” resentment. I get this from the movie Back Draft. Basically, what happens is there is resentment sitting there behind the scenese from one or both parties. After you get your partner to reengage in the marriage for a bit, it could be a false sense of security because it is HIGHLY likely that the same old issues can reemerge after a period of time. Every story is different of course, but basically reader be advised if it ever got bad enough it can get that bad again.

So one partner is feeling lonely for whatever reason. They may be this way naturally, get bored with their life, feel like they haven’t accomplished anything, or perhaps even always been that way. It also happens in cycles. They call it the “7 year itch”. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. If your kid decided that they hate their life, would you say… well have fun with that. Hopefully not.

Anyway, I’ve tried to draw a picture of what can happen if these relationship forces aren’t understood. In each case, try to think about the counter to these forces – the opposite of fear = confidence, etc. The drawing below is to realize, it is not either partner’s fault, but rather the reality of the system you both have been intertwined in. This is my diagram. You may have to create your own. My diagram has other relationship forces as well, but I put the biggies here to give you an idea of how to figure out what is going wrong with yours.
thecycle.PNG

Anyway, that is one point. The other is credibility. If you are reading this site, you’re probably thinking how in the world to I convince my spouse to come home literally or perhaps even figuratively if they are still living with you. Speaking from experential knowledge, it doesn’t work that way. It simply fails. Everyone knows this, yet it is so hard to put into practice when you are in the situation. Annoying teddy bear love always creating desperation cycle resulting in further damage to relationship.

To help this sound more clear, click on the following link:

http://www.runsyourcarwithwater.com/Run-Your-Car-On-Water4.aspx (164 hits)

Wait a second… you didn’t even click it right? Why not? Because it is obviously bogus. So it is when you try to promise the world to your spouse. I’ve thrown some lines out there and had a few nibbles from her, but only when I wasn’t promising the world. Only when I was being real. That of course was mixed in with a lot of anger. Anger is good. It means they still care somewhere deep down inside, but don’t want to admit it, are saving face after filing, or whatever.

At this point, all I’ve got is that she is starting to be nice after about 8 months. Apparently she had  a lot of resentment in the system to purge. I’m not sure what is going to happen next, but I’ve accepted the worst case, but hope for the best. That’s all I can do. The emotions are largely in check at this point. I still have a bit of up and down on occassion, but it doesn’t last all that long.
Lately, I’ve been practicing more on my psychic abilities, hearing the still small voice of God that is within all well most of us,  praying freakin angels and shields of light around my wife. I’m not sure whether it was those prayers, or time that all of a sudden got my wife to start acting nice. I do know that I changed my prayer style though, and I started seeing manifestations of markedly different behavior from her. We’re not together yet, and we may have another year and a half to go, but there has been a turn around. Your mileage may vary. As I pray these things, I try not to impact her choices, but merely put protective layers of light, angels, rains of light, little jolley green trolls with an addiction to jolley ranchers that like to fight off imps, or whatever… the point is to use your imagination… thought and time and space are interrelated. Like casting a pebble into a pond.  I don’t fully understand how, but I know they are now. This is from a study of science, spirituality, personal but subjective spiritual experiments, etc. over the last 6 months.
You may not be ready for this….so brace yourself. It took me about two years to figure this out, and I don’t know everything yet, but from my path this is where I’m at now. You may be further than me or behind me in your path so be careful.
Here is another thing. When praying… I’ve learned a few things here and there. It seems like you have to talk to the subconcious. It doesn’t seem to know right from wrong really, in that all evil is subjective from its perspective.

Think of it this way… Hitler, though perhaps the most evil man ever… actually in his own mind, thought he was doing the world a favor. Think about it. Yeah, I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there with pure malicious intent, but this guy Hitler says.. .I’ve got a great idea… let’s advance humanity and stop all this poverty and disease stuff… but how? Well, his “how” was sickening to folks like you and me obviously, but you get the point? Yes, our “egos” allow him to be considered evil, and no doubt about it from the concious point of view, but the subconcious… is different as I understand it so far. The weird thing, as I understand it.. the subconcious is what connects us to waht we call God.  You know… have you ever had one of those feelings or prayers that you just “knew” would be answered? How? Was it a thought or an emotion? Think about it. Did you picture somethign and so strongly believe in it that it happened?
Subjective evil… there are many cultures around the world where having multiple wives is what all the cool kids are doing, so don’t be so quick to judge others when you by either chance or providence were placed into your probable middle class Western culture body – given that you have Internet access, a computer, Bible, etc.  Yes, that was out there but it  will  hopefully get you in the right frame of mind for praying.

Anyway, what I’ve learned is to try and picture things that generate emotions and use them consistently, then sort of speak it into existence. Then you ask the Father.. you know .. the one that is within all of us, and is part of everything… the carnal mind may call Him, Yahweh, or other names… that is worshiping a being. I’m starting to discover, that there is a much much bigger picture than that.. and the sad thing is, this paragraph will make absolutely no sense to you if you haven’t read or experienced enough to know what I’m talking about. I’d venture a guess that I’ve probably read upwards of 10,000 pages on spirituality, religion, and scripture this year alone.  When I don’t have time to read, I listen to audio and use text to speech.  As part of that process, a bigger picture starts to emerge that sadly I can’t condense into one paragraph nor are many prepared to accept. Some people just know what I think I’ve found though, almost instinctively. The sad thing is, we all do, but then something gets in the way. Ourselves. Our egos. The illusion that we are separated from God.
In any case, If you are doing this right, you will likely feel what I now call energy surges. Those are my experiences though. Yours WILL be different by virtue of your own path and relationship with God. These things are very intense for me now. My whole body starts tingling and stuff, and that’s when I know I’m in the “prayer zone”.  Evidently, I don’t have enough “power” to transport my wife back home… but I can respect her choices at this time for her to go through what she needs to go through as part of her own path.  Make sense? Baaaaahhh….  love is not forceful.  Whatever.

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Almost only Counts in Hand Grenades and Horse Shoes

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Jesus said something about …. well at least it was translated as: Be ye, therefore perfect.

What? You want me to be perfect? Clearly this Jesus cat was delusional if he knew me.

Then there is the ever famous:

Rev 21:8  But for the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and fornicators, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part shall be in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death. 

 

Wait a second… I get a nice big flashing neon sign that says “ACCESS GRANTED” to the lake of fire that burneth with fire and brimstone…. if I …lie… fornicate…. or am fearful? Come on…. surely idolators and sorcereres, but fearful? And fornicating is so much fun! Gee whiz – and how come he doesn’t mention anything about obeying one’s parents specifically or hint hint hint adulterizing by remarrying – don’t even think about dating my soon to be ex-wife or you’ll BURN IN HELL. Righto – that might win her heart back. I wonder if I should put that in singing telegram and send it to her…. Imagine a guy dressed in a pink tutu with a little funky hat singing…. WIFE come back home cause the BIBLE says you will burn in HELL if you don’t. Yes, I’m saying this tongue in cheek, but don’t we do this to others or have seen others do this?

 

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. If you don’t confess Jesus, you will BURN in HELL – phrase sometimes overheard at a taiwanese barber ship with visiting religious chick whose got it all together.

 

I imagine Jesus saying something like, I’m not sure if I appreciate your rather creative restatement of what I actually said, but okay.

 

I just lost the audience. Hold on. I take it back…. it’s okay… just say you’re sorry… after all you’re forgiven, come back to church.

 

 

Feel free to rape the horses and pillage the women, and then beg for forgiveness when you’re done.

 

 

Really, that whole lake of fire thing… well it’s a metaphor for something and I suspect it isn’t quite what we’ve been seeing on the discovery channel lately. So… I looked it up of course. Your mileage may vary. Do your own homework, as I’m not responsible if you do… lie, fornicate, or commit adultery by remarrying and consequently wind up in a nice lake of fire that burns with sulpher. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

 

Anway, I looked up sulphur… it was a purifying agent in ancient times. Now why on earth, would there be fire and sulphur for purification? Is it to eradicate the soul or the sin or both or send them to BURN IN HELL FOREVER AND EVER making what we call a loving God into a terrorist infinitely worse than Osama Bin Laden. What does your heart tell you?

 

You tell me. I mean, how is it that the lake of fire isn’t considered a metaphor, yet the dragon and beast is in Revelation? This is literal, that is metaliteral, and that is metaphysical and not meant to be taken literal… what? If I may….. let’s quote from the Monty Python’s Life of Bryan… a satirical overview of our own stupidity sometimes about scripture and in this case.. Jesus’ sermon on the mount.

 

Jesus talking in the distance…..blessed are the meek.. blessed are the….

 

Crowd Member A: What did he say? Blessed are the cheesemakers?

 

Crowd Member B: He said blessed are the cheesemakers…

 

Crowd Member C: Well, that doesn’t mean literally makers of cheese, but rather refers figuratively to all processors of dairy products.

 

 

How is this relevant?

 

Well, I almost got sucked into something last night. I guess it was my time of testing in the wilderness, though it certainly wasn’t 40 days.

 

What I can say is this… you can believe what I say or you can chalk it up to nonsense, but I’ve got a story that for you that may help to work out a lot of your theological challenges. While I’ve been bored, I’ve started to meet new folks in my town and what not. Anyway, last night I got tempted into some carnal delights. Ruler of this world always trying to bring me down. Danger Wil Robison! Anyway, right on time as the desires of the this contraption I call a body were starting to weigh in… guess what…. butterfly synchronicity motif emerged like crazy. I had written about this awhile back, but I’m talking about it was everywhere….. in a span of an hour – over and over and over. It freaked me out a little.

 

 

I thought I would share an alternate viewpoint from another journeyman that I found that seems to help me reconcile many of the events in my life such as what I described in the last paragraph.

 

 

There lived in a beautiful garden large numbers of a particular creature who crawled about, eating the vegetation, perceiving themselves on the one hand as being superior to all the other creatures in the garden and yet on the other hand perceiving themselves as lowly, wretched and unworthy of being loved. They had many mythologies and squabbled endlessly about whose mythology was the only right one and this caused many rifts, divisions and schisms between them.

 
One day, a beautiful butterfly came into their presence, soaring in the sunlight, reflecting magnificent rainbow-colours from his wings; so much so that he was seen as the Light of the World. Wherever he went he attracted followers, who marvelled at his magnificence and the wonders he performed in their midst. He spoke in a way they had never heard before. He told them that not only was he the light but that they also were the light; that the wonders he performed, they also would perform – and even greater things – if only they could believe; that he was their brother and that they also were, in reality, beautiful butterflies, capable of soaring in the light and creating magnificent rainbow effects; that they need not concern themselves with all their mythologies and divisions and they would find all that would entirely suffice them was to love the Creator and to love each other as much as they loved themselves.

 

Many believed what he said but many others scoffed at his words. The scoffers said among themselves, ‘He says he is our brother but it is evident there is nothing remotely similar between him and us; he has only 6 legs and two wings and lives on ambrosia whereas we have many legs, no wings and eat the vegetation. Clearly he is off his head and has no idea what he is talking about.’

 

Even those who believed him didn’t fully understand him and instead perceived him and worshipped him as a God, saying they were still lowly, wretched and unworthy of being loved and he was high and exalted and eternally beyond anything they could ever be; after all, he had wings of glory on which he soared in the sunlight and only 6 legs and lived on ambrosia, whereas they had many legs and could only crawl about and eat the vegetation in the beautiful garden.

 

Nevertheless, he told them that if they could imagine the things he told them were like bread and the love that he outpoured upon them was like wine, they could imbibe this as sustenance at a higher level of vibration than the vegetation they believed was their source of life and nourishment. This would then enable them to perceive themselves as they saw him and the higher vibration would transform them, from their own within, into magnificent, soaring butterflies also. He also shared with them another analogy to help them grasp this enlightened perception: that he was as a vine, tended in the garden by the good husbandman and that if they could imagine themselves as being branches in the vine, they could draw their uplifting life energy through him and that this would enable them to find fulfilment of their glorious, radiant potential.

 

Many did as he said but because the light of their inner discernment was dim, they were only able to follow his guiding as an outward ritual. Only very few were able to perceive the spiritual reality hidden within his stories. Those who did went by themselves, or perhaps with one or two of their closest, most trustworthy friends, into a secret place, away from the clamour of the world around them, wherein they contemplated his words deeply within their hearts and minds – just as he had counselled them – and gave thanks for all the wondrous gifts he had brought into their lives. In the silence of their own within they received the enlightenment he had promised that was sustenance for their souls and this helped them to perceive themselves just he had said they would.

 

Those who were only able to perceive his words at an outer, ritualistic level began to quarrel amongst themselves as to who was the greatest among them, or whose interpretation of his words was the most accurate and to create ever greater numbers of rules and doctrines about these interpretations, even though the butterfly had plainly said there were only two ‘rules.’ This caused further divisions between them. Some broke away from the group structure that had been established in his name because they said that group no longer truly represented him and his teaching and was full of corruption and self-serving. In time there arose squabbling even within the breakaway groups, causing even further divisions. All these groups and the breakaway groups called themselves the ‘This’ denomination or the ‘That’ denomination and even though their holy writings told them that their Creator had called them by their names, all these breakaway groups had chosen to de-nominate themselves.

 

All the squabbling over who was right and who was wrong in their understanding of the butterfly’s wisdom caused many of the creatures – who had at first enthusiastically joined the groups set-up in his name because the stories about him seemed so resonant with their hearts and souls – to become disillusioned with the groups and they stopped attending the group meetings.

 

Some of those who stopped attending decided that the whole story could not be true and went back to eating the vegetation and even any old, decaying matter they found in the garden, embracing any elaborate theories placed before them by those who told them that they had a better idea than the butterfly (or those who claimed to be representing him). This led to more and more confusion in the garden and more and more division among the creatures.

 

Those who had never believed the butterfly (or the groups who claimed to be representing him) said to those who had left the representative groups, or who moved from one group to another, vainly seeking a more perfect representation of the butterfly, ‘We told you so; it was all too far fetched to be plausible in the first place.’

 
But those few who were able to see past the imagery of the butterfly’s stories, to the truth they contained, and followed his advice to enter alone, or in groups of only 2 or 3, into a secret place and there to attune with him and he would be there in the midst with them, found that his words took on a level of meaning that brought his wisdom into a new dimension of reality for them. This enabled them, in their own inner perception, individually, to enter into a place of being just as he had described. There, they found an inward peace, joy, love and tranquillity and spiritual illumination of the eternal realities, about which the butterfly had spoken, that was far, far beyond anything to be found in the groups who had de-nominated themselves.

 

***

 

Of course we all know what happens to caterpillars. They eventually stop eating the vegetation, enter alone into a secret place, away from the clamour of the world around them and there, in the solitariness of their own within, recreate themselves in the image and likeness of the Butterfly. Then they emerge and soar magnificently in the sunshine, reflect glorious rainbow colours for all to see and ‘live off ambrosia,’ giving thanks, by their very beauty, to the Creator for the joy and wonder of Life.

***

This allegory of the Life of Humanity indicates that the spiritual evolution of mankind is not yet complete, other than for a precious few, who long ago entered into their secret place, just as the Master counselled. However, we are now in the most exciting moment in the history of humanity, when the critical mass is approaching of those who have entered in and are recreating themselves from the Within into the Without into glorious, fully spiritualised, soaring Beings of the Light.

 

Those who have faithfully followed Jesus of Nazareth through the many denominational church institutions see these realities from the perspective as presented to them by those institutions. These closely formatted and structured forms of words suit those institutions, who maintain a rigid and tightly controlled set of dogmas and doctrines based on Scriptures that have been altered many times, by people with their own agendas, over the millennia since Jesus walked the Earth (for example, reincarnation as a belief system was removed from Church Canon in 553 CE at the Second Council of Constantinople by the then Christian Church authorities. There have been numerous other additions, deletions and amendments before and since, which, in combination, have drastically altered much of the message of Jesus as presented by scripture and the religious denominations established in his name).

 

Yet Jesus wasn’t rigid in the way he spoke of the things of the Kingdom. He constantly spoke in parables – allegories – which he knew would be interpreted by each individual according to the place each individual was on the path of Eternal Spiritual Progress and that is just as he intended it because that is the nature of parables or allegories and it served his objectives well to teach in this manner. Any individual who is sincere in his commitment to spiritual truth will undergo an evolutionary process in his perception of the meaning of any of these parables during a lifetime. This clearly indicates that to have rigid dogmas and doctrines on any aspect of Truth or the teachings of the Master Jesus is of the intellect, not of the soul perception and is not serviceable to the spiritual evolution of the soul of the individual, from its own within, where it makes its connections with the Creator, in whose image and likeness each soul is created. As St. Paul puts it: ‘Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life. 2Cor 3:5-6.

 

Jesus was unequivocal about entering alone into the ‘closet’ for communion with the ‘Father’ and that when 2 or 3 were gathered in his (Jesus’) name he would be there in the midst with them. It is in the interest of many religious institutions to promote the perception that congregations should be as large as possible, for pecuniary and doctrinal reasons; but when an individual within such a congregation becomes drawn by the Spirit within to enter alone into his closet and there ponder sincerely and earnestly the mystical dimensions of life, he will begin to receive illumination direct from the Source of All. Such a seeker will experience there a peace and joy not of this Earth and will awaken to eternal realities that will place him in the perception that the congregational churches are no longer able to be the source or channel of his spiritual sustenance because he will have outgrown them. He will also find that they will have no desire to hear of his inward, mystical experiences.

 

Jesus was also unequivocal that we are (all) the light of the world and that the things he did, we – if only we can believe – will do also, and greater things. He came to remind us of this eternal truth and to demonstrate it, so that we would have a living example of the magnificence of the human spirit to follow and emulate.

 

It is inevitable that this will happen eventually to us all because that is our fundamental, essential nature, having been created in the image and likeness of the Creator. While some state that we are all god, the truth is more perfectly stated when we say we are all a part of God; that within us is a spark of God’s Consciousness that was given to us at creation. It is only a matter of when, rather than if, that we move back into full awareness of that. We are all at free choice to begin to make that journey at any time, including right NOW.

 

In writing the story of one’s own experiences one is open to allegations of arrogance, vivid imagination and bias. There will be those amongst the readers of this story who will say this is an affront to Christianity. There are those (and I have already received hundreds of messages to this effect) who will say this has opened their eyes to a greater truth about Jesus of Nazareth, who have been searching for some more realistic, meaningful representation of who he really is than has been portrayed by orthodox religion for centuries. There will be others who cannot decide.

 

Into whichever category you fall, I ask of you 2 things: 1) Please listen to your heart and your feelings as you read. Your heart and your feelings are your soul speaking, communicating with you. If your heart and soul resonate with this story, you will feel good about it. Some may find that they feel good about some parts of the story and not so good about other parts. 2) Please read the whole story before casting judgment.

 

You can read the rest of his story under MSN groups – Mysticism 101 – Synchroncity. Good luck. I post it here, because it seems to line up with where I think I’m headed spiritually and many of the observable phenomenon in my own life.

 

 

 

 

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Don’t take it Personal

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Received some wisdom from an elderly pagan gal tonight. Yup. Pagan. She was nice. Her words were “Don’t take anything personal”. I liked it. I remember telling that to my high-school basketball coach after he had apologized for some unchoice words…. “Coach, I don’t take it personal”. I remember him stopping and looking shocked. I forgot those words from my 17 year old self. Don’t take it personal. That may be the solution to verbal volleyball.

It gets better.  Yes, I am analytical. Have been for most of my life, but then there are certain intuitive higher levels of thinking that words just can’t express. Analytical is good for some things. I’ve dissected and dissected the scriptures to no end. I’ve now decided that theology is largely irrelevant. The ironic part is that I couldn’t have come to that conclusion without having first gone through the exercise of dissecting and ripping apart everything I thought I knew or didn’t know. In the end, was the effort a waste? I don’t think so.. then end of the road was to discover the spiritual nature of the scriptures wrapped in a historical framework. Man decided to add some doctrines while he was at it.

What does matter, is the Way! Walk humbly with your God, in peace, gentleness, and blast the odd pharisee here and there if you’ve got mad mind readin skills like Jesus maybe. Still learning, but gee whiz.. 2 years of studing Bible in and out every day to realize that the message is just be pure, do the right thing, humble, love, and blast religious spirits. I’m still not sure about the latter part. Basically, this is what it takes to restore the marriage. Now though, it is no longer for me. I find myself asking… who is this for? Is this for God? For her? For my kids? Is it so I can have victory? Is it truly out of love or is it that I want what I can’t have right now? We have about 60 days left give or take before the divorce can be final. I’ve actually quit worrying about it for a couple weeks now. It gets easier day by day. Whatever will happen, will happen. We make the best decisions we can with the infomration we have at the time. My people perish for lack of knowledge.

 

I went to a bar and drank root beer of all things tonight. Root beer. What the….? I didn’t even want a beer. Had no desire for it. So… no meat for a few weeks now, no beer, what next…no more pop-corn? I’ve been working on conscious efforts to control my emotions through the “Sedona” process and it seems to be working. Same thing as what Paul said about making our thoughts obedient to Christ.

Anyway, I liked this piece below:
Analytical thinking,
which divides and dissects,
does not satisfy the needs
of the spirit,
for the spirit finds peace
in unity,
which exists only
in emptiness,
where thinking has no influence.
To step into the realm of the spirit
is to abandon thinking.
Can you step over the precipice,
not knowing what is below?
Life starts this way.
(The Tao is Tao, 17)

Explanation and comment
It is shocking what the poem says in the first four lines, isn’t it? In a world dominated by the intellect, very few dare to think that our intellect is the source of our misery. But it is so true, isn’t it? Our thinking tends to separate us from everything else. We are trained in formal education to classify and categorize all things. We first divide them into organic and inorganic categories, then are taught to “identify” and “name” them. Of course this is necessary, and I am not arguing here that children should not learn to see the difference between things. The ability to identify is essential to our survival. It would be irresponsible, though, not to point out a problem that is created on a spiritual level.

The youth are taught to believe that these differences are real and not just their intellectual effort to understand the world. They start believing that the world defined and separated by their intellects is the real world. Many education systems still lag behind the scientific realization that the world is in reality an ecological and organic totality of inseparable parts functioning in an indivisible network. Our division of the world, and our separation from the rest of the world, is in fact an intellectual exercise – it is the product of our thinking. It is not real.

These divisive patterns of thinking on a materialistic level has invaded our spiritual world too. With catastrophic results for our spiritual well-being.

What the poem is saying is that this intellectual division does not satisfy our spirit. It leaves us lonely and isolated. Even though our intellect tends to separate us from the rest, our spirit is desperately searching for peace in unity. Much of our dissatisfaction and unrest in spite of material well-being can be attributed to this. Our spirit is starving in a society satiated with divisive intellectuality and materialism.
One could also describe this process of separation in psychological terms. We are encouraged by our education system to create our own inflated idea of self or “I” in this world. Most people tend to devote their lives to their own invention of a fictional “I”, using material means to prove that their illusions are real. They would think, “I am great. I am cleverer than the rest and therefore more successful.” They would then spend their lives trying to prove this to themselves and the rest of the world. This “proof” would often take the form of competitiveness and material possession. “Look at me. I have a huge mansion, more beautiful than yours, a bank full of money, and a beautiful wife to match. I am a major shareholder in Exploitation Ltd. Wow! I am superior to you. What I think I am is real. I am the greatest.” Do you think people cannot be this naive? You are in for a surprise. They are. Maybe you have also fallen, even if it is to a lesser degree, for this form of “junk thinking”.

The sad result of this form of dedication to “I” is that people separate themselves from their fellow beings. Exploitation, often accompanied by destruction and cruelty, become respectable. In spite of their “success”, people embracing this life style remain dissatisfied, for they have not really begun to understand that the spirit needs unity, not separation.

“I” is the most divisive and destructive concept ever invented by thinking. The poem clearly points out that peace can only be found after you have accepted that you are empty, that “I” is fiction and only exists in your overheated mind. Getting rid of the ego is essential before you can find the kind of unity that will bring you true peace of mind. In a way, you have to ignore your own analytical forms of thinking before you can come into contact with your true self and establish harmony with others.

The last stanza of the poem comes to a profound conclusion: You must abandon analytical thinking if you want to enter the world of the spirit. To a generation who have been trained into mainly analytical, divisive thought patterns in an education system focusing mainly on materialist gain, taking this “irrational” step would be difficult if not impossible.
It is like stepping over a precipice, not knowing what is below. It is almost like forcing that most revered of all faculties to the modern world, the intellect, to commit suicide. Yet, there is no other way. You need to be courageous, and you need faith. But it is the only way. We have seen what destruction our focus on our intellect, our ego and materialism has brought to the world, and how lonely and desperate the human being has become in the process. The only cure is to abandon thinking and step over the precipice, and to come into contact with your spiritual being, which is an indivisible part of the rest of your being.
 

As the poem so clearly states: Life, true life – a life of harmony and true spiritual satisfaction – starts this way.

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The Great Train Robbery…

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Well… I got some more resources to help me with a few things..

The first was an ebook entitled…. The Magic of Making Up. I’ll put a link up to it later. It was from a site I had read on to try and understand the female brain. Anyway, one of the main things was just repeating this series of questions to yourself:

That feeling in your chest… you know that anxiety and stuff…

Do you need this feeling?

Can you let this pass? When?
Just answer yes or no. Your response doesn’t matter. Repeat about 5 times. Anyway, that helped, and then I  also decided that my wife has been hit by a train. I’m sure going to miss her. I have to disconnect from her in my mind as the emotional pain is not helping anyone and keeps pushing her away. Wish I would have known about this technique about 6 months ago.

Another one I learned…was meditation during prayer. Basically, I imagine a white angelic light in front of my forehead. I imagine it coming into my body and just healing and stuff all the way down to my toes.

Then I clench up each muscle group starting with my toes, then breathe in for about 10 seconds, and then breathe out twice, then move to the next group of muscles all the way up to my head.

This almost knocks me out… it is so relaxing!

I then imagine very happy memories for my prayer time. For example, not my wife will return, but having a happy family all hanging out on the beach and what not.  Birthday parties, etc. I think of these things and they bring joy inside that place where the anxiety and pain exists. I try to speak into existence.. I have a happy family. I have a loving wife. I am loving my wife. My kids are playing and smiling, etc. I started out with my wife.. but then modified it to include whatever the great divine Spirit may have in mind as far as my future relationships in the spirit of Mark 11:22 , nothing is impossible with God, etc. It is clear to me that for us to work out as a couple, that there needs to be a death in the relationship and only then would it be possible for a rebirth, similar to how a seed must die before a beautiful flower can be grown.
Also, I started thinking about dating again… and no sooner had those thoughts been done, random butterflies showed up in my life again… was a woman with one tatooed on the back of her neck at a store. Another was in my inbox a few minutes after thinking about this again. Doh! Take it for what you will.
Got this in the mail today…

HOW TO GET YOUR BREAKTHROUGH! “Walk Out of the Old to Access the New”

 Recently, I shared with you a message God had given me for the nations. Heaven is “pregnant” and getting ready to deliver something great into the earth realm. Intercession will take you into Heaven’s “delivery room.” I wanted to continue to share insight and tools to assist you in your breakthrough, as I believe that you can live the life of your dreams by making a destiny decision to cooperate with God’s agenda.

This is why maintaining a prophetic flow in your life is so crucial during this season. This takes a submitted and resolute act of obedience. During this time, you must really commit to your tomorrow, to change the way you speak, to change the way you think, and to change your environment.

In this season of change, you will be given an opportunity to cooperate with Heaven’s maturation process. This is the year of defining moments. It will take more fasting and prayer than ever before. In many instances, you will have to be prepared to go alone; you do not want to be connected to the wrong body part. You must make some difficult heart decisions.

SPIRITUAL MIDWIVES NEEDED

God spoke a word to me this past week concerning abortion and delivery. It is important that during this season, you are careful to only allow spiritual midwives into the delivery room with you. This is where you need God-given midwives. Don’t be afraid to make decisions that will affect eternity. For example, Mary and Martha versus Peninnah and Hannah. Be careful that you do not carry a “spiritual abortionist” in the delivery room. These are individuals whose negativity, doubt, unbelief, frustrations, and fears can potentially undermine and sabotage your success and prosperity.

God has planted a seed of greatness in you. He is raising up the next generation of giant slayers who will champion the cause of the King and His Kingdom; those whose agenda is linked to God’s overall redemptive plan for His creation.

I entreat you: discern the spirit working through individuals. As you intercede, ask God to reveal every satanic agenda and agent–ask Him to squelch demonic activities. Ask Him to frustrate the plans of the spirit of Pharaoh.

Ask God to send you your spiritual midwife, someone who will help you to push pass discomfort, pain, and disappointment from an old season. Someone who will support and cover you with fasting and intercession and spiritual warfare. Someone who knows how to touch Heaven and who knows the divine prayer codes for unlocking “Heaven’s vaults.” This is the year of open Heavens and open portals.

Ralph Waldo Emerson brilliantly states, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”

THIS YEAR WILL BE CHARACTERIZED BY:
• CIRCUMCISION (some things must be cut away, some relationships must be severed).
• FORGIVENESS
• RELEASE
• TRANSITION
• TRANSFER OF POWER
• NEW BEGINNINGS
• CONCEPTUALIZATION
• BIRTH

• PRECISION OF THOUGHTS AND DECISION-MAKING
SYNCHRONIZATION AND SYNCOPATION TO THE WILL OF GOD (ensuring our wills are submitted to His divine will).

• Open Gates – Divine Access.
• Open Windows – Divine inspiration to think, to create, to receive dreams, visions and concepts.
• Open Doors – Divine Opportunities.
• Open Ways – Divine strategies for living.
• Open Eyes – Divine Insight, Supernatural wisdom.
• Open Ear – Supernatural Conceptualization.
• Open Nose – Supernatural Discernment.
• Open Spirit – When you live with integrity, you will live authentically.
• Open Mind – Faith.
• SHIFTS – 37 shifts will occur.
• PRAYER – new prayer strategies are about to emerge; prayer movements will arise.
• SPIRITUAL WARFARE/RELATIONSHIPS/LIFE STRATEGIES: spiritual warfare will be intensified; relationships must be renegotiated.

• GOD IS FAVORING: Ohio, Oklahoma, Africa, London, Central America. There will be a wave of shakings and a coming together according to Ezekiel 37. Things are going to come together. People are coming together. There will be a great prayer revival that will hit the earth.

• MOMENTUM
• APPLICATION OF KINGDOM PRINCIPLES
• FRUITFULNESS
• DOMINION
• RESOURCEFULNESS
• TRANSITION

Note, your pain or circumstance is your process or thrust to breakthrough. I entreat you, this too shall pass, stay the course. I want to share with you some practical prayer points which will activate breakthrough in your life: OPEN PORTALS–these are streams that God will open up this year!

PRAYER POINTS

• Declare a 21-day consecration.
• Ask God to give you the grace, courage and capacity to walk out of the old and into the new.
• Ask God to sever all inappropriate and diabolical soul ties.
• Actively break them.
• Pray for wisdom, insight and instructions for renegotiating all covenant relationships.
• Ask God to reveal to you all open portals.
• Ask God to reveal to you your daily assignments.
• Break curses associated with idle words and actions.
• Reverse diabolical cycles.
• Ask God to enlarge your territorial spheres of influence.
• Pray for release from unprofitable, bewitching relationships.
• Reverse all evil arrangements.
• Resist and reject manipulations and manipulators.
• Reverse sabotage.
• Pray that every weapon formed against you will be impotent.
• Let every diabolical contract be nullified.
• Reverse every evil curse and send it back double-fold.
• Paralyze spiritual vultures, snakes, leeches and vampires.
• Expose the hearts, motives and intentions of fake friends.
• Unveil and expose evil collaborations and collaborators.
• Close every door and gate to satan–prohibiting him access to your personhood and property.
• Cause every satanic agent assigned to hold-up, hinder or slow down the manifestation of assigned blessing to be frustrated, foiled and hindered from fulfilling their assignment.
• Let all demonic activities associated with financial hindrance, failure and setbacks be terminated.
• Paralyze that which hinders you from moving into greatness.
• Through Christ, declare that you bulldoze your way passed any demonic gatekeepers and doorkeepers.
• Open my eyes, and ears to the things of the Spirit.
• Bind every strongman associated with spiritual blindness and inability to hear.

I DECREE AND DECLARE YOU WILL EXPERIENCE NO MORE:

• REPROACH
• STRUGGLE
• STAGNATION
• SHAME
• REJECTION
• HARDSHIP
• SETBACKS
• BONDAGES
• COMPETITION
• WRESTLING
• DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

I DECREE AND DECLARE, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE NEW:

• HOPE
• JOY
• PEACE
• FRIENDSHIPS
• POWER
• OPPORTUNITIES FOR: PROSPERITY and BUSINESS, MINISTRY, ETC.
• DIRECTIONS
• A NEW MINDSET
• PARADIGM
• COMMITMENT
• ANOINTING
• MANTLE
• LIFE
• HEALTH
• BODY
• WORSHIP ENCOUNTERS
• LEVEL OF GIVING
• MINISTRY
• MINDSHARES

I decree and declare, you are coming out with more. You are well on your way to breakthrough!

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The Outer Court?

Saturday, May 31st, 2008

So in my quest to save my marriage, one aspect that I have fought for a bit though I do feel the prodding is this whole thing of becoming “Holy”. Basically, yeah I’ve gotten prayers answered quite a bit, but when I try calling upon the name, YHWH, I just don’t get that “I know that I know that I know” feeling for some of my prayers.

 

Example, … I call upon the name of Yahushua to bring my wife home……. right……….now!

 

Well, where is she? 

 

Doh! Crazy annoying inabililty to cajole the most High into answering prayer immediately. Well, what seems to be the hold up here… after all His word says that anything we ask He will give in this life when we use His name. Is it a question of spelling? Hmmmmm perhaps, but more likely it has something to do with the fact that in olden times, a person’s name reflected their character / identity. I’m really starting to get the idea that the Jesus we all love and know in modern culture.. you know, that happy fun loving peaceful crowd pleaser always doing magic tricks, is perhaps not the actual Jesus that we think he is. I’ve found numerous scriptures, early church writings, etc. etc. to support the idea, that it wouldn’t take long for the prince of this world to step in and corrupt things. Heck, Paul said it was going to happen, not if, but when, and he indicated the timing would be very soon after he passed. I started looking into the earlier writings and dating various traditions and what not and noted a sort of divergent path. Modern theory is to stay away from gnostic stuff…. gnostic = bad. Yet, YHWH says all the time… my people perish for lack of knowledge, Jesus is recorded to say that the Pharisees bind up the knowledge, etc., etc. I do think this was all part of the grand cosmic plan to make the Good News palatable for heathens like me until we were ready for deeper spiritual things so I understand how we got here.

 

 As I thought about this some more, I recall something I learned the other day about casting out demons and what not. At one point in Acts, it is written about some pesky devils saying to some Jewish professional exorcists, “We don’t know you”, whereas they knew the Apostles.

 

Act 19:11 And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul:

Act 19:12 insomuch that unto the sick were carried away from his body handkerchiefs or aprons, and the evil spirits went out.

Act 19:13 But certain also of the strolling Jews, exorcists, took upon them to name over them that had the evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, I adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preacheth.

Act 19:14 And there were seven sons of one Sceva, a Jew, a chief priest, who did this.

Act 19:15 And the evil spirit answered and said unto them, Jesus I know, and Paul I know, but who are ye?

Act 19:16 And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and mastered both of them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded.

       Act 19:17 And this became known to all, both Jews and Greeks, that dwelt at Ephesus; and fear fell upon them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified.  

Imagine that job….

 

 

Some bar……

Some guy trying to convince some girl about whatever merits he may have to get her home….

 

Guy…. Hey have you heard this cheesy pick up line?

Gal… yah..

Guy… oh…

Gal… so what do you do for a living?

Guy… I’m a professional exorcist…

Gal….  Really? Do tell!…. Bats her eyes  

Guy… well.. I just sort of wave my magic wand if you know what I mean… 

 

I went too far… sorry.

 

Anyway, since the demons didn’t know who these men were, they had no authority in Christ to cast them out. I recall that we can approach the throne of grace / mercy with boldness for our petitions once we have access to the throne room. That likely means that the reason the professional exorcists were not known is that the the professional exorcists were never actually seen hanging out with Jesus in the ol’ throne room.

 

 

This will be more documentation of yet deeper exploration into what it means to become “holy” / cleansed / etc. I document this path that I plan to take, so that others may understand whether or not attempting to cleanse one’s house from unrighteousness actually brings about increased spiritual phenomenon and hopefully in my case, the restoration of my family / marriage.

 

I guess right now, I’m pretty much your run of the mill Christian with perhaps a bit of zealousness for knowledge, lots of freak coincidences, and kind of running hither and thather trying to make sense of everything I’m learning. Sort of like trying to come up with a unified thereom in physics perhaps, I guess I’m trying to do the same with regard to my own spirituality, with the long term objective being to demonstrate to the world or my limited audience how to properly save a marriage / family, unblock curses that you aren’t even aware your living under, etc.

 

 

I’ve read on sites such as rejoiceministries.org, that part of the process is an internal transformation – that is – becoming more like Jesus. The more I read – the more I’m getting excited. I was previously.. a bit reluctant. I don’t wanna be holy. Bring my wife back dang it!

 

I’m setting out a plan to clean out the ol’ temple, and hopefully the Spirit of Light will truly come upon me and in 6 months you’ll read about me on the news getting involved in some polgyamist sect or something..well hopefully not, but I guess send up some warning flares if I start to lose connection to what we call reality.

 

Right now, I’m convinced I’m in the outer court of the temple spirtually speaking. I’m sure sometimes I thought I was in the inner court or holy of holies, but it seems that there is more work to be done from everything I’ve learned recently.

 

 

Step 1 – no mo’ meat. Yes I’m serious. I’ve read and read, and am pretty convinced that somehow dining on meat allows spirits of darkness to come upon one’s soul. Take it for what you will. I’ve checked this over and fought it and fought it. I’ve read and disected scriptures to no end, because I really like McDonalds, but I guess they are losing one of the billions served here shortly.

 

There are other things I’m finding out about as I go… particularly the sort of quantum physical impact the words we speak has on us. Basically, whatever we judge others with…well guess what… it comes back to bite us more than we know. Some call it karma. Same thing for words and thoughts you may have. After all, if we are truly sons of God, that have just forgotten who we are then, it would make sense that we could accidently speak negative energy or whatever into existence through the metaphysical connection that a wife and husband would have.

 

I’m convinced now that each of the major religions in the world has “part” of the truth, that was perhaps separated by DESIGN to make the quest for the mind like Christ a diligent labor. Throwing away everything you thought that you knew or were taught and starting all over.

 

 

What I know so far is that English Bibles are milk. You may say…well it is the lingua franca and such and I may say fair enough. However, there are many passages that talk about a pure language, calling upon the pure name, having your lips purified so as to be able to call upon the name, etc, etc. etc. 

 

 

The goal is to have Christ teach me directly… perhaps in a vision… dream maybe.. or if I’m lucky get to hear Him talk one day. I’ve heard about some people saying this has happened to them, but they generally tend to be “cult” leaders, so I tend to doubt the veracity of such claims at this time in my life.

 

The ol’ John 3:16 escape clause may be fine for babes in Christ, but I have a serious uphill battle here to save my marraige and am going to need some mighty mighty divine help. In the end, we shall see how this next in the series of spiritual experiments plays out.

 

As you read this, you may think that I’m getting more and more looney tunes – and that’s fine you are entitled to your opinion of course. The Jews thought Jesus was possessed and they killed him for it – nice! Paul also wrote that such stuff would be “foolishness” to babes in Christ of which that is currently, me.

 

 I certainly hope to avoid that sort of death, but it is written over and over that entering into the “Kingdom” is no easy feat despite the free gift connotations throughout the scriptures. Seems a bit paradoxical eh? That’s why I hope to have enter into the Kingdom somehow and be taught the solution.

 

 I think what the free gift stuff may actually say, is that …. dude… you’re a child of God…. act like it… you were already a child of God before you were born. Don’t you remember who you were? You are now encased in this animal shell contraption called a body and you need to transcend the world, cultural bias, etc., etc. – get your temple cleaned up so that the ol’ Christ prophet can directly teach you the mysteries of God, and with any grace – perhaps He’ll intercede for my very very broken marriage.

 

 

It is interesting… Jesus says that if our wife is out “whoring” around then we are “permitted” to have another mate, yet that we are “forced” to commit adultery at that point. Well no “whoring” around at this point, so I’ve got some time to at least try to become holy and all Luke Skywalker of the mind of Christ.

Paul write about the spiritual connection that our mate has on our life when we have sex with other people beyond our mate. Some part of our spirit seems to join with the other person and affects us the rest of our natural born life.  I just don’t want to see that happen.

 

I hope I’m not eventually giving up and “forced” into adultery, but we shall see.

 

Do you think this is nuts? Go read the scriptures man… everything I’m saying is in there if you look and abandon preconceived notions. It is a paradox sometimes. I think it is by design at this point.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Impersonating an Officer of the Law

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

Yeah, I had pretty much given up. Told Yeshua – I guess it is over with, but I’ll keep praying buddy.

Well, guess what…. this guy calls me today. Said he went out of his way to track me down for his mailing list. Cool, I thought. Apparently, since I moved his newsletters started bouncing. Ordinarily, he said it would just be an ignore and move on. He called me though, which he said was unusual.

Anyway, we got to talking and he told me how he went through 4 years of HELL in his marriage. Said his wife wouldn’t even sleep with him for about 2 years. Wow. 2 years of couching it.

He got into trouble because his wife would say that family is more important and he would say that God was more important. Classic spousal jealousy of God.
I have concluded that I had actually made my wife an idol of my heart before my God. Sorry about that Yeshua.

Anyway, little things like that happen that just catch me off guard. I’m new to all this stuff. That is, the part where God just moves…. out of the blue and has some stranger say something to you that hits you right in the heart or right between the eyes with a 2X4. That is what happened today. I was laughing out loud when the call was over. I told God – you are Sooooooo funnnnnny!  The construction worker watching me was probably a little weirded out. Hah!
I’m serious. I was so close to just saying the heck with it. What are the odds? Play Texas lottery instead.
Anyway, also the other day I got pulled over for speeding, couldn’t find my insurance card, my registration was out, my inspection was expired, and I failed to signal. I might as well have had a giant sign on my car saying — PLEASE PLEASE PULL ME OVER AND GIVE ME A TICKET! PLEASE PLEASE! I WANT A TICKET SO BAD!
I prayed and prayed while the trooper went to his car. I received a warning. Maybe a warning of a different sort too from above.

Thank-you Jesus!

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The Battle for Oil

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

I keep saying my wife is not the enemy. Both of us have been attacked by him though. This scripture seemed to jump out at me again.

II Chonicles 20:15 it says that the battle is not ours but God’s. This verse has given me many moments of peace.

He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. 16 Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. 17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’

He says over 365 times in the scriptures – be NOT AFRAID! 1 for each day of the year.

His recipe is simple:

  • Meditate on His word
  • Pray
  • Believe
  • Fast perhaps if guided to do so
  • Forgive
  • Help your brother and the poor
  • Do the right thing

I’m still in this fight darn it! Have a big guy named Jesus walking in front of me. He’s got this breast plate of righteous on. He keeps trying to equip me with one, but it doesn’t always fit. Maybe I can get anointed with some nice olive oil so it will slip on! Then there is this big sword called the Word. It is for both defensive and offensive. There is a helmet and even boots to boot.

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