Glass Gloves

Devorah
Dvarim

A word-fast. A different kind of fast.

See how often negative words turn up, like should and shouldn’t, could and couldn’t, ought to, have to, can’t, and more. Become aware of this discipline being mind changing, catapulting you into a higher realm of thinking. It will free up your intuitional skills when you don’t have to feel or think anything, but simply allow yourself to be.

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Psychic stuff is cool yet frustrating. No I’m not the world’s best psychic nor do I know what I am doing really, but stuff is starting to happen and that’s about all I know at this point. It seems to work best with my mom. I started looking into this after wondering about Jesus’ mad psychic skills with the woman at the well, and the guy sitting under the tree and stuff. He said in one of the books that we would do greater than he would, so I figure that psychic stuff would be part of it since he did it. Looking at this like a child just like he said to.

I’ve been able to “read” a couple other people right on target for the most part, but mom seems to be the strongest connection. I still don’t know how to do this on purpose - it seems random at this point and subject to noise generated by my own thoughts. What I have observed is that it seems to be accurate when it is a thought that comes out of nowhere - ex nihilo i think.

Here is a recent example:

The other day I was at a family reunion and all of a sudden a random thought out of the blue got placed into my head. It was my mom with a green pie. Yes, GREEN PIE.

I called mom up to ask her what she was up to and stuff. Nothing doing. Asked her about pie. She gave me a …. okay… you really are bored aren’t you.

She instant messaged me the next day.

4:02 PM Mom: i’m cookin fried chicken and mashed potatoes tonight. we r having grandma c annd geoff;s uncle over for sunday dinner. this we are doing each week, because both of them are lonely and on fixed incomes too. they were over here last week for steak and salad and lemon meringue pie. i made it from scratch for the first time. it turned out yummy. so today i made chocolate meringue and orange meringue pies

4:03 PM me: k
I saw a green pie
not chocolate
but interesting none the less

8:15 AM Mom: Oh yeah, I forgot about the green pie dream. That is too weird!!

Now I admit, that for the second series of pies - that it is possible that her mind picked that up, forgot about it, and then proceeded to make more pie. I can admit that - perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts, but what is weird is my mom has never made pie. She had pie on the brain and then I got pie on the brain - the WEEK before - I submitted this to her.

So here is what I have learned - it is when new things are occurring in mom’s life that I am picking them up somehow. I suspect that green may somehow be my subconcsious mind’s way of telling me - “new”. Just a guess.

The cool thing is my mom is a cake chick. She has never been able to make pie. All of a sudden she starts making pies and I get a random visual about mom and some green pie. Now if I could just figure out the lottery numbers I’d be set

Now the danger in all of this, is that almost everyone I run into that I happen to have a spiritual discussion with at any length - starts to experience these types of phenomenon on a much grander scale. It has happened with pastors, friends, mom, my children, and maybe even my very force-fielded and deeply wounded wife. What I hope is not occurring is that somehow these “mental” forces are somehow bringing about manifestations of coincidences in the physical world thus causing me to misread various freaky coincidences that have occurred as some sort of output of energy by my mind that is getting picked up by other people. Did you catch all that? I made it up as I was going along.

Looking inside of myself - the external events being a mirror of what is going on in my soul. In mathematics, this would be basically a spiritual differential equation. I used to love those kinds of math problems.

For example, you have a big tank of water that is pouring water out at the rate of 10 gallons a minute, another pipe pouring into the tank at 10 gallons a minute with a 10% salt solution. At what point will the tank be 50% salt? I suspect that there are similar things that occur in the spiritual world that somehow mirror this physical world and cause things like coincidences, etc.

What does this have to do with my marriage? Well, if this is real for my mom, then by definition it is likely to be real for every person I’ve ever had some sort of connection with, and I imagine - in particular those with whom I have had children. Therefore, as I involve Yeshua in my prayers - I try to make them filled with love and light and some sort of letting go when I’m done and mental images of what I desire to happen - all of us hanging out on the beach as a family at long last.

I’ve written about numerous such events before. The beach thing was cool. The pie was cool. Dog water. It goes on and on. Now, just waiting for the light switch to be turned on in my wife. … that thought that says….. “Maybe, I’m making a mistake”. Not sure what to visualize for that part.

Now I must figure out how to continue to send out light and good will towards my wife to help her bring down the force fields and restore what we had and with any luck, what we can have.

Now this video is a bit “New Age”, but on some levels describes some of the things I’m learning about our more “advanced features”. As with everything in this sort of stuff - eat the orange, but throw out the rind if you must.

Another update- my mom is now praying hard core for my wife and I. Thanks mom!

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Gosh. It has been 9 months. Never thought I would make it this far. I’ve been focusing lately on the power of positive. Trying to take captive every thought and emotion and make them captive to my Jesus inside. I am still weak at times and get angry over all that has happened. I get angry with her - angry with myself. Then stuff happens right as I need it. I am ever more confident now that it is God’s will for us to be together and for this family to be restored. I have yet to commit to the rest of my life, but I at least gave the committment until or if she should remarry.

Getting closer and closer to committing for the rest of my life. Charlene of rejoiceministries.org says it is a must if we expect deliverance.

I took some of her best pictures from our family album and place in my car and then one on a computer. When my love starts to fail they remind me of who she once was, and who she can become doubly so with the Lord touching her heart and mine.

As the doubt creeps into my heart - it tries to say to me - you are crazy for sticking this out. What good will it do YOU? Go away doubt. I don’t care about HER free will - I care about God touching hearts. He does it all the time. The Spirit is like the wind.

My pastor tells me that this is the biggest uphill battle to restore a marriage that he has ever heard about. Thanks. I needed to know that because….? Laugh out loud.

I now say to that negativity and doubt that creps into my heart, “She is coming home NOW because - it is right and good to put my family back together, I love her though it is not easy”. I try to speak to Yeshua as I say these. Imagining my brother and friend sitting there beside me - being sarcastic like some of my friends and I do to each other. One of the boys - telling me not to give up. Ignoring all other counsel to give up.

I use pictures and mental images of being on some beach together with the kids - watching the sun go down, eating strawberry bon bons. She at least took the kids to the beach, so I thank the heavenlies.

I picture placing her clothes back into our closet and watching our children go to school for the first day together.

The theme of the day seems to be seeds. Is harvest time coming in this season? Shall I harvest in yet another season?

Bill and Marsha Burns sent the following this morning:

Be aware that you are now reaping the harvest of the seeds that were sown within the past 10 months, whether for good or evil. And, these results will be specifically evident for two months, and then a new cycle will begin of sowing and reaping. Pay particular attention to what comes forth in this time because it will give you detailed understanding of what you can or must do to improve your productivity and success on every
level — spirit, soul and body, says the Lord.

Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

The law of Karma apparently.

I read about that last night as well in another book called the Psychic Workshop by Kim Chestney. It was on the radio this morning talking about the mustard seed of faith that grows into a tree.

I’m also learning more about our cycle in life. I know that our taste buds change. I also know that there are phases in life - differing levels of maturity and wisdom. This is a phase I remind myself. The law of cycles. Ups and downs. Ups and downs. Trying to break free. Learning to turn the other cheek.

This one from rejoiceministries.org touched my heart this morning:

Text removed at the request of rejoiceministries.org lawyers.

Had to take out the text because I got a legalgram (below). I gave credit where it was due and put the link up to their site, but it doesn’t meet the guidelines. I’ll see about writing them to get a non-exclusive reprint permission.

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We are honored to have anyone share our original material on other web sites, but certain guidelines must be followed. Please see - http://rejoiceministries.org/reprint.html .

Unless those requirements are met, we ask that Copyrighted material from Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc. not be displayed on your web site known as http://glassgloves.com . God gives us material to help as many people as possible, but still Federal Copyright laws must be followed.

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I picked up the kids yesterday. She didn’t say much. Seemed sad.

I noticed that she hesitated for at least 15 seconds as though she were waiting for me to come talk to her. The timing felt off. I sent her a text message later telling her that she looked awesome. Her hair was done up and it looked really nice. In my heart, I was hoping she had fixed up her hair for little ol’ me.

Also, for several weeks I had been visualizing all of us at the beach as part of my prayer. She took the kids to the beach - yay!. That was nice. Wish I could have been there.

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So this weekend was my family reunion for one side of my family. Several folks asked how I was doing and what all was going on. I told them about how I needed their prayers for my wife and for strength to continue on. I kept mentioning strength for some reason. My mom had called me the day before and mentioned that as well. She felt that her prayers had been answered because I was again showing new found strength in her opinion.

Well, as I was driving home I’m jamming to one of my psychic development tracks. Trying to learn more about telepathy and some of those cool parlor tricks that Jesus was written to have done. You know - like what he told the woman who had 5 husbands. Well, as I was driving I’m passing a truck. It’s not like I sit there and psychoanalyze a truck as I’m passing it, but i felt drawn to look at this one for some reason. There it was - Isaiah 40:31. It didn’t quote the verse - just listed the passage and that was it. I thought to myself - Curious.

So naturally, I pull over to look this up.

Isa 40:31 But, they who wait for Yahweh, shall renew their strength, They shall mount on strong pinion like eagles,—They shall run and not grew weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Strength jumps out at me. Shivvers up me spine. Goose bumps.

Today - a friend of mine who has been going through her own turmoil about whether to stick her marriage out or not - calls me. Says that she had been asking God for a sign. Now I know that Jesus said that it was evil to do that, but I suspect that it may be evil whenever your heart is in the wrong place - as though you are testing instead of trusting. That’s how I rationalize it anyway. The point of her call was to ask me about how I manage my bible study / meditation / prayer time etc. She said she had purchased some book about enabling busy women to better study bible and waht not.

So we’re talking and I’m relating what I do - talking about meditating as the sun rises - seratonin levels - melatonin, the importance of getting sun, etc.

Then I told her my story about strength and a bible verse that had really struck out to me and how it had helped me. I said it was Isiaah 40:31. She goes ……. What? I go yeah - she goes - that is what I am staring at right NOW!

I suspect that we both received a sign perhaps. My father in law also tells me that this is what he has been holding onto for a couple months now in his own struggle to rescue his marriage today. Cool stuff.

Other items unrelated.

This last weekend I had hosted a few friends in town. One of my buddies has been having a hellacious time with his wife as well. It is interesting to watch it at work. We talk and try to support each other. Anyway, the “boys” wanted to go out drinking. I told them I don’t drink anymore, but would be Designated Driver. They go out - party, and get a little silly. During the partying - my friend starts to ask me why I am quitting drinking, meat, etc. I tell him it is just a spiritual thing, but I would explain when he was ready. He then asks me about the book of numbers - particularly chapter 5 - where the woman who may be cheating on her husband is given a test by the temple priests. I explain everything I know about this including the supposed poisoning of the water under where the temple used to sit in the year 1033 - which seems to be an interesting parallel supportive of the notion of a potential literal return of the messiah in the year 2033 in accordance with various levitical codes, etc. Anyway, I explain all that I know. The whole weekend I did NO preaching. None. I put my Jesus cannon away and decided to let my actions speak louder than my words whatever that means.

A while later he calls me up and we talk some more. He says that he is thinking of cutting back on his drinking now. It was an interesting wrap up. This friend is now reading the bible. He used to cast a few stones at me, but now asking questions. Interesting.

It is happening. I’m just a tool I guess and a very poor one at that, but it is amazing to watch these forces in action. All I can say is Praise God! Praise Jesus. I’m still in a bit of a transitional period of higher growth with respect to my knowledge and spirituality, but that doesn’t mean I need to lose sight of where I have come from. God I love this. It is such a cool journey. It is adventure of the highest sort!

Woman married to a biological family member of mine - if you are out there - check yourself - for you are being watched. Heard through a grape vine that anger is getting to you. Observe thyself. Know thy self! or something like that! You are in my prayers regardless and you have come very far. Know that you are loved and only a friend would tell you when you may have a booger in your nose.

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I had realized a couple things about myself. I am a perfectionist on many levels. A tough act to follow sometimes. Some things I could care less about (e.g., grammar / spelling), but on other levels I want a perfect soul, perfect body, perfect marriage, etc. I have none of these so far, but they are part of my inner most desires. I ask myself - Why?

If I am Sun and she is moon, then no matter how hard I try not to have her live up to my own personal standards - she will be driven to live by those standards and if unable to keep up - will go batty. Yes, she had her issues from the start, but this is one of the things that perhaps unconsciously she was reflecting my light or at least attempting to meet my energy or something.

Do I lower my standards? Not try as hard? Don’t know. This is just a theory at this point.

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One of my mentors was asking the Lord what’s up with this situation awhile back. That is, the whole ridiculous and vain effort to get some miracle to save this family and my marriage and heal both mine and my wife’s soul and somehow live happily ever after.

He had a vision. People get them - relax. It still happens. Yeah, there are fakers probably too. How would you verify it? I have no idea. I just know that I trust this person isn’t lying.

What - you think God dropped of the map for a couple thousand years? Ever heard of some crazy chick called Joan of Arc? Thankfully we live in America and people that get visions and things putting voices into their head are no longer burned at the stake.

The vision was of an ant hill getting knocked down with little itty bitty ants running around. Scurrying like ants to do rebuild the nest.

Well, that was nice and all and of course through wishful thinking I would interpret that as: My wife shall scurry around like an ant, but the ant hill (our house) will get rebuilt. I didn’t give it a whole lot more thought, but then a couple days later I started thinking about it some more. As I came to work that morning, I was outside - looking at the ground and saw these little itty bitty ants all running around foraging for food or something. Nice ants.

I was thinking hrmmm… I wonder quite heavily about that whole ant vision thingy again. What was that all about? Anyway, naturally the Hebrew word of the day gets emailed to me that morning and it is ants. What’s up with that? So many different ways to take it I guess.

It could be the ant hill that is getting rebuilt. Or perhaps it is her. Perhaps it is the family. Perhaps it is still me. I really don’t know at this point. I know what I put my hope that it is our house though.

Later on that evening I go to meet with a friend of mine. He tells me of some of his stories about some apparent divine intervention in his employment status. I go out to the golf course near his home. Feeling irresistibly drawn to go lay out under the stars and pray. I lay down on the green. Praying. Relaxing. I’m asking Him - what? Why do you have me drawn to this place? I lay there for a bit just soaking it all in. An ant bites me on the neck. Nice. Thanks. I laugh out loud. I still don’t get it. What’s up with the ants man. Is it my house? Me? Her? Both? Something else?

So that you may better understand some of the internal struggles as I go through all of this I have extracted some quotes from a movie I used to watch. It is offensive. Nature is violent. Nature is offensive when 10,000 people die in a flood. You cool now? Can you handle a few curse words? If not - just skip ahead.

WARNING WARNING - LANGUAGE IS OFFENSIVE AHEAD! OFFENSIVE. OFFENSIVE. WARNING! Danger Wil Robison!

Here’s the quote. Just ignore the language - the situation is what is relevant.

There’s this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”[1] I been saying that shit for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this morning made me think twice. See, now I’m thinking, maybe it means you’re the evil man, and I’m the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or, it could mean you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. I’d like that. But that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is you’re the weak. And I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m trying, Ringo. I’m trying real hard to be the shepherd.

Anyway, that quote is barely in the Bible, but the dialog and the scene and the transitional period is what is interesting.

I’ve put the video here and if you have virgin ears - it is even more offensive.

What is it though. This kind of stuff happens to people all the time. They turn to God. Circumstances change in the blink of an eye.

What was in the case if you watched the movie? Rumour has it that it was a man’s soul.

Later on today I’m headed to my home town. Still pondering this ants thing. My house? Me? Her? Both? I pull up to get some food. I see on the back of a car. Acts 16:31. I look it up. Something about your whole house being saved. Nice. Ants. I decide arbitrarily that it is related to my house due to some bumper sticker.

It keeps me going at least.

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I had written awhile back about some of the numerological sequences chasing me around. On clocks, receipts, license plates - freakin everywhere.

Specifically, 11:22. Well it resurfaced the other day for a little while. Perhaps a couple days. Then the same pattern reemerged that has been following me for some time. Now I know that part of our conciousness may seek to discern patterns as some sort of survival instinct whenever we are under duress or stress, but I doubted that was true after hearing and reading about tons of other people experiencing the same phenomenon.

Anyway, decided to get to the bottom of it. I read something that suggests that 11 = Purity, 22 = Stimulation, 44 = Absolute. Whatever.

Annoying numerological sequences always chasing me around. Some say that it is angels trying to get our attention, others say it is from God, some say spiritual guides, others say spiritual aliens from some planet, and other more rational folks say it is just a way of dealing with stress.

Who knows. What I do know is that this pattern became discernable to me independent of researching it and finding out about others experiencing the same thing. While that is subjective and is my point of view, I also don’t think that a universe just popped up out of nowhere with 100 gajillion galaxies as suggested by some in the scientific community.

Here is what i did notice though. It may be a restart of what appears to be some sort of loop in my life. I mean - this chick - my wife and I were dating in high-school. We were “in love”. Talking about marriage - what to name our kids and what not. She flipped out. Then here we are married like 7 years later. Then a few years later she flips out again. Now, don’t get me wrong - it takes two to tango and both of us had our part, but at the end of the day I suspect that we may be caught in some sort of inner loop within this lifetime until one or both of us turns the other cheek like Jesus was always saying to do. This is just a theory though. Sadly, I won’t know until the end of my life probably.

Now I had thought about this and started thinking about the whole idea of history repeating itself. It does right? I see observable phenomenon now repeating themselves in my life with regard to my marriage - and what is weird is they seem to be in sync with this whole 11:22 business. From what I can tell 11:22 is the start of the pattern or cycle. If my theory is correct, then apparently I have reached the start of either the old pattern - hence starting all over again - or am starting a new one. Who knows. I’m just making this up as I’m going along as usual - or am I?

I thought this was interesting though taken from the following url: Reluctant Messenger (14 hits):

According to reincarnation beliefs, history tends to repeat itself until those who have participated in it learn their lessons and change for the better. This means that an individual may face identical situations from one life to the next until they are able to conquer whatever “cause and effect” chain-reaction they have caused from a previous life. As an example, a person who “lives by the sword” in one life and dies without having made amends for his mistakes, will in the next life be faced with identical situations which must be overcome. Ultimately, such a person will have to face themselves and have inflicted upon them everything they have inflicted upon others. Divine justice in many religions shows that those who “live by the sword” will “die by the sword”, if not in their present life, but likely in a future life. Reincarnation theory states that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

It appears that history does indeed repeat itself. Perhaps it is the same cast of characters playing the same roles over and over again. I think William Shakespeare was right all along: All the world is a stage and we are but the players.

Got the idea? Patterns happen. Deal with it. Yeah baby.

Another thing. It seems that random butterflies still show up in my life as of late. It is summer. It is Texas. It is HOT! It is just weird. I’ll be sitting there. Haven’t seen a butterfly in awhile nor am I looking for one and I’ll start thinking - the heck with this - I’m going to go find me another woman. Then a little butterfly will sort of fly up to me and just sort of hang out.

I’m sitting there thinking. Hi. What’s your name? Annoying psychic butterflies always showing up when I start thinking about moving on. Grrr. Okay.

It was a pattern that had been established some time ago - perhaps as allegory in this physical existence for something else that I need to learn, but in any case pretty personal to me. Annoying self-generated belief in butterflies somehow having something to do with my dating life. Truly Chaos Theory (google for it) is at work here, but rather than the flap of butterfly’s wings somehow starting a hurricane - instead - it is keeping me from finding another woman and staying stuck in this prison of hope. You’re lost right? I wrote about this awhile back. Perhaps search for butterfly on the side bar there, but I’ll try to explain.

This was sort of a little thing between me and God that I wasn’t permitted to date. What I wanted to do was to use my concious mind to overide my emotions, and meanwhile still consciously pray for my wife because there were a number of spiritual or relationship forces that I didn’t fully understand. Basically, the way it works is somehow women instinctively know not to try to come back until you are already over them. I don’t know why it works that way, but just know that it does in many cases. Desperate to try anything, i had looked at dating to get a confidence boost. That’s what a lot of the repair your relationship books say anyway. I’ve heard my friends always say the same thing, and plently others. Don’t know why it works that way - who knows. Maybe just how this place is designed, but the point is dating denied due to butterflies. I know that makes no sense to you, but it does to me and that’s all that matters The risk and evil in this is that if you fall in love with someone else well you may not be able to fall out of love and even if you do - you just used someone. Bad plan.

I had read about another thing - and that is just plain old exercise. It does something to your confidence by increasing dopamine levels or something at that then makes us brief case toating wannabe cave men more attractive to women seeking security or something. Goes back to cave man days i think. I also learned that deep down inside, many women desire a man that will proverbially drag them by the hair, yet still hold the door. Some kind of push pull thing. Seems like a game to me, but evidently it is part of the process and some women like that game.

Well anyway, still caught in this karma loop like a bad episode of Star Trek where they get caught up near a disruption in the space time contiuum, but perhaps I need to rethink what I’m doing. If this is a reset of the ol’ Karma loop then what could I do differently? I am still at a huge cross roads and unsure of what to do next. The judge is out of town for two weeks I heard so whatever missiles were going to be fired were delayed. I was very thankful of that, because I really didn’t want to. Perhaps that was God’s way of me trusting him kind of like Abraham with his son? Nah.

Perhaps while I wait I should better understand the nice guy phenomenon that repulses women sometimes. I guess nice guys are just boring or something and it doesn’t work so well when we try to fake it by buying a harley and getting a tattoo of a heart on our arm that says “Mom”.

I could really freak my wife out and get a tattoo of her face on my arm, but I doubt she would ever think about coming back after that and it might limit my chances with another woman should that butterfly pattern cease. In a weird sort of way though - that would be quite funny if you think about it long enough.

Where are my meds? Who said that? Just kidding. Really - kidding or am I?

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So last Sunday she was distant again. I sort of expected that I guess, but really distant and somewhat angry it seems.

Anyway, I had ordered flowers for her last week to be delivered on Thursday of last week. So I figured for about 4 to 5 days now that the flowers made her angry. Anyway, there I am getting sad / mad in the data center…… again. I tell God, Dude - I’m not doing this anymore. You want this together - you do it.

I continue fixing up the power cables and what not.

I return to my desk. I see a delivery receipt for flowers for today. ……. What? I sent those last Thursday I thought. What the ………

Every time I give up…. it just seems like something happens to keep me going. Weird Weird Weird. I swore I had scheduled those for last thursday.

What the?

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I had a company dinner to attend tonight so had a baby sitter for the kids. As I got home around 9, they had somehow known that I was coming home. It was dark. It sounded like they were out. Nope. I put my wallet and things up. They called out to me. It tugged at my heart almost violently. I went in to kiss them good night. A tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders being able to see them. They asked me to stay with them. So I lay there for a bit. My daughter says to me - Daddy are your feet cold? I say yes. She says - be still daddy. She goes and gets the covers and puts them over my feet and then gives me a kiss and tells me to go to sleep. Motherly instincts for her daddy at the age of 5. They pass out about 5 minutes later. Love. Love. Love.

Earlier today her and her brother had gotten into a fight over a McDonald’s toy. Their crying after I deprived them of both toys for arguing became in harmony. Harmony crying. It was interesting to listen to the sound waves ride on top of each other. It hurt my heart to listen, yet it in a weird sort of way - it was actually beautiful due to the harmony. A sort of sadness blended with youthful lack of understanding. When they stopped, I asked them to take care of each other. They said okay. I gave them their toys back. They were laughing. Love. I wonder if God thinks of my wife and I like this right now. Is He pained to separate us?

I can’t imagine that bond of love with my kiddos ever being broken. Sadly it seems to happen in this realm we live in sometimes. Geez, what I must have put my mother and father through with a kid as weird as me

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