Glass Gloves

This story is not to “build” myself up, but rather just to share what happened today.

I was in the car having a conversation with my boss about hypocrisy within the ranks of Christianity as it pertains to divorce to better explain why I believe it is right and good to stand for my marriage. As I stepped out of the car, almost no sooner had I said the word hypocrisy and elderly lady with a cane walks up - visibly hurting and disturbed. I feel that tug at my heart. I’m being tested. How hypocritical will I be? That longing to help her. I look into my wallet, but there is no cash. I politely explain and then that sting continues to torment my soul for being unable to help. Hypocrisy. My boss and I continued on our way and as he went inside I asked if I could go get her something to eat real quick. He said no problem.

I went up to her and told her I could buy her a subway sandwich, that was right across the way. She looked at me intently and said too salty - too salty several times. I was puzzled. I fought back the beggars can’t be choosers notion. I went back to my desk struggling with this and put on stop divorce radio. How do I help her? How do I help her? It started talking about Nehemiah rebuilding the city wall of Jerusalem and then a flash of inspiration hit me. Of course, there is an ATM machine right across the way…. I got up from my chair….. and removed my head phones. Help the poor were the last words that came on the radio… They echoed in my ears as I was running down stairs praying that she would still be there..  and for God to forgive the temporary hardness of my heart.  I went and pulsed some cash $20, $2 fee.

Where is she? Where is she? I let my ummm instincts do the driving….. I walked a block and a half and found her standing underneath a tree. I handed her the cash and just said God loves you - and you’ll get out of this some day - maybe not today, but I know you can do it. She started crying - I could tell she was deeply deeply wounded inside. Felt her pain. I stood there and lived through it with her as much as I could. Oh thank you thank you thank you she said. As I left, I felt a tear run down my eye.

The Kingdom. Hypocrisy.

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I got this after sending a prayer request in for my wife and family.  Cried with joy……  JOY!

To My Precious Son Shohn:

Because I knew even before I created the earth that you would accept My love for you, and that you would seek to know Me thus…

In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth. Then at the right time and in the right place I created you. I created your inner most being, I created every part of you, I knit you together in your mother’s womb. You were carefully and wonderfully made; my works are wonderful, and you Shohn are my work. My eyes saw your unformed body. All the days planned for you were written in my book before one of them came to be. How precious are my thoughts for you, How great is the number of them! If you were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

Listen to me; Shohn I created you and have cared for you since before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime, until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. I will carry you in my arms, holding you close to my heart. For I know the plans that I have for you plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Shohn there are some times of suffering in your life. But the temporary suffering of this life does not compare to the glory that shall be revealed in you. Know this that I am with you and I will help you. Your help comes from me, I am the God who created the heavens and the earth, and the one who created you. I will never leave you, I will never reject you. When your parents fail you I will pick you up, hold you close, and adopt you. Nothing can ever separate you from my love for you. When you are in trouble and distress my love is with you. When you are persecuted my love is with you. When you are hungry and cold and naked my love is with you, I am always with you. When you are in danger and threatened with death my love is with you, I will be with you forever.

Shohn know that nothing can separate you from my love, no matter how high you go, no matter how deep you sink, nothing in life and not even death can separate you from Me, and My love for you. No demon or any other power in hell can separate you from my love. My love for you is revealed through Christ Jesus your Lord. In all things and every situation you will have victory, you will conquer, because the victory of Christ Jesus is your victory.

But now, Shohn, I the LORD, who created you and formed you, says: Do not be afraid, for I have purchased you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, they will not over flow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. I command you to be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid; do not be dismayed, for I, the LORD your God will be with you everywhere you go.

Shohn, know that everything will work together for your good, because you love me. You have been called according to my purpose. For I knew you before you were born and I predestined you to be conformed to the likeness of my Son, Jesus Christ. This is your destiny, and this is your purpose, that you become one with my Son Jesus, and thus one with me. I created you in my image so that you and I can express love to each other. The most intimate relationship you can have is with me because you and I are becoming one. You and your brothers and sisters that believe in me are becoming one with Jesus, and thus one with me. You in me, and me in you, together, unified by my love for you. You were designed for this purpose, nothing else will ever satisfy your deepest needs, your deepest desires, only I can. Because you seek to know me I satisfy your heart with love, joy, and peace that only I can give you.

Shohn if you should forget me, and enter into sin, and not turn back to Me on your own then I will punish you. Because your sin will separate you from feeling My presence, and My influence, and I want you to return to your first love, the One who loves you. I the Lord discipline those I love, and I punish everyone who I accept as my child. Just as a good Father disciplines His children to turn them away from a dangerous path, so I shall discipline you for your good, that you may share in My holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Shohn, When you confess your sins, I am faithful and just and will forgive you of your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. In repentance and resting in Me is your salvation, in quietness and trusting Me is your strength. I will create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you. I will not send you away from My presence, and I will not take My Holy Spirit from you. I will restore again the joy of your salvation, and make you willing to obey Me. Then you will teach My ways to sinners, and they will return to Me also. Humble yourself, therefore, under My mighty hand, that I may lift you up at the right time.

Shohn do not forget all my benefits, I forgive all your sins and heal all your diseases, I rescue your life from the pit of destruction and crown you with love and compassion. I satisfy your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. I The LORD work righteousness and justice for all the oppressed; I The LORD am compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. I will not always accuse, nor will I harbor my anger forever; I do not treat you as your sins deserve or repay you according to your iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is My love for you because you fear Me; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you.

Shohn, call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Always pray to Me about your every concern, pray from your mouth and pray from your heart, I hear every thought that you think. Everything that you care about, I care about also because it concerns you. Cast all your cares and anxiety on Me because I love you. Trust in Me, the LORD YOUR GOD, with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding; In everything acknowledge Me, And I will direct your paths. Do not worry about anything, but in everything big or small, by prayer, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Me, the Most High God. And I will give you My peace in your heart, peace that is beyond all human understanding, and it will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. Always be joyful. Keep on praying always. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is My will for you because you belong to Me.

Shohn, Study My Book of law and truth, the Holy Bible, do not let My words depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. My words are Spirit and they are Life. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you will, and it will be given you. For the word of God is living and powerful. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. The most important thing you will ever own is your Bible because it gives you knowledge of Me, The Most High God. It makes the poor rich, it gives hope to the hopeless, faith to the fearful, food to the hungry, water to the thirsty, love to the despised, comfort to the lonely, freedom to the prisoner, health to the sick, light in the darkness, and life to the dying.

Shohn I have set up circumstances and situations in your life to cause you to seek Me and find Me. I desire that you know Me. I am The Lord your God, full of compassion, and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty man glory in his might, Nor let the rich man glory in his riches; But Shohn glory in this, That you understand and know Me, That I am the LORD, exercising compassion, lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight and take pleasure.

All things are created for My pleasure and My pleasure is to show forth loving compassion. I have compassion on the poor and needy, and I am a Father to the fatherless, I help them, and I defend them. Far below Me are the heavens and the earth, I stoop to look down, and I lift the poor from the dirt and the needy from the garbage dump and I set them among princes. Shohn I want you to do these things also, have compassion on the poor and needy and help them, this is what it means to know Me. For I am Love, and when you live in love, you live in Me, and I live in you. Loving compassion is good, and this is what I require from you, to do what is right, to love compassion, and to walk humbly with your God.

As a father has compassion on his children, so I your LORD have compassion on you because you fear Me; for I know how you were formed, I remember that you are dust. Forever and ever My love is with you because you fear Me, and My righteousness with your children’s children; with those who keep My covenant and remember to obey My laws. My law is to love. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments all of My laws are based. When you walk in love you are obeying all My laws. When you walk in Love you are walking in My Holy Spirit for I AM LOVE!

Shohn come and live in My shelter, in the protection of the Most High God, you will find rest in the presence of the Almighty. You will say, “This I declare of the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I am trusting him.” Shohn I will rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague. I will shield you with My wings. I will shelter you with My feathers. My faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor fear the dangers of the day, nor dread the plague that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. But you will see it with your eyes; you will see how the wicked are punished.

Because you Shohn make the LORD your refuge, because you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your dwelling. For I order My angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you with their hands to keep you from striking your foot on a stone. You will trample down lions and poisonous snakes; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

Shohn, My servant, and My friend, whom I have chosen, I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will hold you up with my righteous right hand. All who come against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, for I myself will help you declares the LORD, your Redeemer. You will rejoice in the LORD and glory in the Holy One of Israel.

Shohn, when you asked Me to forgive your sins and come into your heart I sent My Holy Spirit into you to comfort you, to give you power, and as proof to you that I have adopted you as My child. The Holy Spirit shall lead you into all truth because He shall testify of Jesus, and He will give you power to testify of Jesus. I will speak to you through My Holy Spirit that is in you, He will tell you what is right and wrong, what is love and hate. My Holy Spirit is a gentle whisper inside your heart telling you the path to walk in. If you walk in My Spirit you will walk in love, you will not sin. And you will see great and mighty things happen before you, they will not be accomplished by strength, nor by outside force, but by My Spirit says the LORD ALMIGHTY. Through My Holy Spirit I shall give you supernatural gifts that you may be blessed, and that you shall bless others through demonstrating My love for them. My Holy Spirit will be with you through out your whole life, and after I will receive you into My glory.

I your LORD say to you I will rescue you because you love me. I will protect you because you trust in my name. When you call on me, I will answer; I will be with you in trouble. I will rescue you and honor you. I will satisfy you with a long life and give you my salvation. Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me. It is your destiny.

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Do you know the story of Lazarus?

Joh 11:1  And a certain one was sick, Elʽazar from Bĕyth Anyah, the village of Miryam and her sister Martha.
Joh 11:2 (Now it was Miryam who anointed the Master with perfume and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Elʽazar was sick).
Joh 11:3 Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, “Master, see, he whom You love is sick.”
Joh 11:4 But when Jesus heard, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the esteem of Elohim, so that the Son of Elohim might be esteemed by it.”
Joh 11:5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Elʽazar .
Joh 11:6 Therefore, when He heard that he was sick, then indeed He stayed at the place where He was, two more days.
Joh 11:7 Then after this He said to the taught ones, “Let us go back to Yehuḏah.”
Joh 11:8 The taught ones said to Him, “Rabbi, the Yehuḏim were but now seeking to stone You, and are You going back there?”
Joh 11:9 Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world.
Joh 11:10 “But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.”
Joh 11:11 He said this, and after that He said to them, “Our friend Elʽazar has fallen asleep, but I am going there, to wake him up.”
Joh 11:12 Therefore the taught ones said to Him, “Master, if he has fallen asleep he shall recover.”
Joh 11:13 But Jesus had spoken about his death, whereas they thought that He spoke of taking rest in sleep.
Joh 11:14 So then Jesus said to them plainly, “Elʽazar has died.
Joh 11:15 “And for your sake I am glad I was not there, in order for you to believe. But let us go to him.”
Joh 11:16 T’oma, who is called the Twin, then said to his fellow taught ones, “Let us also go, so that we die with Him.”
Joh 11:17 Therefore, when Jesus arrived, He found that he had already been four days in the tomb.
Joh 11:18 Now Bĕyth Anyah was near Yerushalayim, about three kilometres away.
Joh 11:19 And many of the Yehuḏim had come to Martha and Miryam, to comfort them concerning their brother.
Joh 11:20 Martha, then, when she heard that Jesus was coming, met Him, but Miryam was sitting in the house.
Joh 11:21 Martha, then, said to Jesus, “Master, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.
Joh 11:22 “But even now I know that whatever You might ask of Elohim, Elohim shall give You.”
Joh 11:23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother shall rise again.”
Joh 11:24 Martha said to Him, “I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
Joh 11:25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he dies, he shall live.
Joh 11:26 “And everyone that is living and believing in Me shall never die at all. Do you believe this?”
Joh 11:27 She said to Him, “Yea, Master, I believe that You are the Messiah, the Son of Elohim, who is coming into the world.”
Joh 11:28 And having said this she went away and called her sister Miryam secretly, saying, “The Teacher is here and calls you.”
Joh 11:29 When she heard, she rose up quickly and came to Him.
Joh 11:30 And Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was in the place where Martha met Him.
Joh 11:31 Therefore the Yehuḏim who were with her in the house, and were comforting her, when they saw that Miryam rose up quickly and went out, followed her, saying, “She is going to the tomb to weep there.”
Joh 11:32 Miryam, therefore, when she came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Master, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Joh 11:33 Jesus, therefore, when He saw her weeping, and the Yehuḏim who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled,
Joh 11:34 and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Master, come and see.”
Joh 11:35 יJesus wept.
Joh 11:36 The Yehuḏim therefore said, “See how He loved him!”
Joh 11:37 And some of them said, “Was this One, who opened the eyes of the blind, not also able to prevent this one from dying?”
Joh 11:38 Jesus, therefore, again groaning in Himself, came to the tomb. Now it was a cave, and a stone lay against it.
Joh 11:39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of him who had died, said to Him, “Master, already he smells, for it is four days.”
Joh 11:40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you shall see the esteem of Elohim?”
Joh 11:41 So they took away the stone where the dead man was laid. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me.
Joh 11:42 “And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the crowd standing by I said this, in order that they believe that You sent Me.”
Joh 11:43 And when He had said this, He cried with a loud voice, “Elʽazar, come out!”
Joh 11:44 And he who died came out bound feet and hands with wrappings, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loosen him, and let him go.”
Joh 11:45 Therefore many of the Yehuḏim who had come to Miryam, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in Him.
Joh 11:46 But some of them went away to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus did.
Joh 11:47 So the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered a council and said, “What shall we do? Because this Man does many signs.
Joh 11:48 “If we let Him alone like this, they all shall believe in Him, and the Romans shall come and take away from us both our place and nation.”
Joh 11:49 And one of them, Qayapha, being high priest that year, said to them, “You know naught,
Joh 11:50 neither do you consider that it is better for us that one man die for the people than that the entire nation should perish.”
Joh 11:51 But he did not say this from himself, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus was about to die for the nation,
Joh 11:52 and not for the nation only, but to gather together into one the children of Elohim who were scattered abroad.
Joh 11:53 So from that day on they plotted to kill Him.
Joh 11:54 Jesus therefore no longer went openly among the Yehuḏim, but went from there into the country near the wilderness, to a city called Ephrayim, and remained there with His taught ones.
Joh 11:55 Now the Passover of the Yehuḏim was near, and many went from the country up to Yerushalayim before the Passover, to set themselves apart.
Joh 11:56 And so they were seeking Jesus and spoke among one another, standing in the Set-apart Place, “What do you think? Is He not coming to the festival at all?”
Joh 11:57 And both the chief priests and the Pharisees had given a command, that if anyone knew where He was, he should disclose it, in order for them to seize Him.

A friend relayed this insight to me today…. was Jesus crying in this scene because of His friend dying or because….. they still didn’t believe? He knew He could raise Lazarus - that’s why He said Lazarus was merely sleeping.   What do you think?

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Tomorrow is the big day. We go into mediation. I have prayed for several months that her heart will soften and that we may begin to work towards reconciliation. All sign posts seem to have pointed towards this day. I have fasted now for two days, not for my sake, but the sake of our family and for the glorification of my God. Hear my prayer Heavenly Father and may Your help and deliverance come swiftly, but Your will be done - not mine. Cleanse me from my fear for perfect love has no fear.
I plan to ask her for forgiveness of my sins first so that our iniquity may not be born and that the nakedness of her sin be left covered.

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So I had prayed yet again if there were any other areas that I was not seeing that God could show me that I was sinning against Him.

Well, show me He did. I got a phone call tonight from a stranger.  It opened my eyes to some other things I have been doing wrong. Some of my posts on this site are examples. From now on, what she is up to will be kept in the prayer closet. If she deems it appropriate to release at a future date for others to learn then so be it, it will be her decision though. Not mine. I decided to edit out some of my recent posts with the stuff she was up to. Learning as I go. The lady said, that if I do things God’s way, that more miracles will indeed happen. All the miracles I’ve received so far have been for retaining custody of the kids. I want that, but I would much rather have my family back together and most especially my wife.
Thanks for revealing this Father. I’m trying to show her how much I love her - and I continue to struggle with HOW to show her. Big dumb ox that I am - I filed for divorce. Nice job.  Someone has volunteered to teach me. 2 days until the mediation process. Impeccable timing once again. I appreciate everyone’s prayers and continued support as I learn more about how to love my wife the way the big man does us. Doing it His way seems so counterintuitive. Agape.

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So my eldest non-biological daughter had called me this morning. It was around 5 in the morning. She was sleepy. She missed me. We talked for about 5 minutes. I told her to keep praying and that no matter what happens - I still love her and that God loves her even more and not to ever forget that.

This was weird. I had been praying for her last night. In fact, she was the last person I prayed for besides my wife and my mother in law. Her name is sort of an inspirtation for me because it is found recorded in Acts as one of the person’s whom God - touched. Free will schmee will - God touches hearts as He pleases too.

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