Warning blatant Rambling about to ensue!
Back when I had more time, I used to play a computer game called Total Annihilation (90 hits). The game basically simulates a real time futuristic battle and consists of both strategy and tactics. This one friend of mine would team up with me to battle the computer. One neat thing about this game is that after you and a team-mate beat the computer , you both can decide to battle each each other.
My team mate and I were both fighting a common enemy (the computer AI) and until the enemy was defeated we both got along in the game just fine - then invariably that faint “hint of glory” would hit our eyes. We’d yearn for the destruction of the forces that were previously allied against the computer enemy. He’d look at me - “shohn - what are you going to do” - “shohn” - “shohn” - I was lost trying to decide whether it was worth pressing the “break alliance” button. With one click of a button, my forces would start firing upon his base. If I pulled the trigger first, my odds would increase of winning. I had made the habit of building “big bertha” cannons (108 hits) that could fire one heck of an artillery shell nearly all the way across the battle field. If I hit the break alliance button, in a matter of about 30 seconds (big berthas are slow, inaccurate, but powerful) they would turn to fire into my friend’s base. If they hit his power supplies - I could cripple his defenses for a bit and get the upper hand. “shohn - what are you going to do”. Click - Immediately 10 big berthas turn to fire upon his base - he sends a heavy assortment of air attacks my way to try to take them out before they fire. All hell breaks loose.
Sounds kind of like a divorce race or even just a heated argument eh? What can you do to save your marriage? Stop pulling the trigger once conflict arises and the “grab for money” starts and instead try to unite against a common enemy. If you are really lucky, you may have someone gracious enough to draw some heat off you for a bit (my mother-in-law did this for me). You ever been in a physical fight with another guy? I have - plenty of them when I was younger. Two guys bow up to each other like the big talking monkeys that they are and then there is that glint in the eyes of one of them - if I pop him first - I will get the upper hand. Should I pop him - I may lose this relationship forever if I do this. I remember one of my best friends and I almost fought like this while in college. Thankfully we both backed down.
Ever seen the movie Tombstone? It is a western about the boomtown called Tombstone and Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday. Try to recall the scene (about one minute into this trailer) right before the fight at OK corral. (109 hits) A number of guys with their guns pointed at each other, but noone has pulled the trigger and noone wants to. It is a bomb that needs to be defused. One little wink from Doc Holiday and all hell broke loose. Several were killed a few seconds later. That is what you are up against in this fight to save your marriage.
One of my favorite episodes (124 hits) of Star Trek: TNG illustrates this concept quite well. It is utter poetry
I noticed that this concept carries over into many other concepts in life. Let me try to relate this to another concept - what is “truth”. That is a common question that we as a species face. Our common enemy is author of “false” or “anti-truth” or at time regurgitated biblical theologies. The prince of lies himself. Either man or the prince of lies has so washed up the message that I’m still trying to sort out much of the details, but I think the core is readily apparent if you just read the scriptures enough.
For example, there are a myriad of churches out there often having their own theologies. Now what is interesting here, is that some members and pastors of such churches will say that we are all on the same team - we have common enemy, whereas others tend to focus more on their own interpretations of various biblical passages. The really fun ones are those that take one passage of scripture. The reality is there is a very real common enemy for all of the churches and sometimes that enemy even infiltrates. I once had some guy tell me that I didn’t have the strength (not quite what he said) to search google for “Pastor Charged”. Hmmm, I guess that’s fair, but how about searching for “Scientist Charged”. That said, I don’t think too many people have ever denied that the enemy can infiltrate the church. This goes even for Catholics. I see a ton of folks out there that assault the Catholic church, but what is so ironic is that most of the “protestant” churches still base a great deal of their core on the stuff that was given to us, right or wrong, around the time of Constantine. Was this the prince of lies realizing that he couldn’t stop the advancement of the early church, which in my opinion was closer to the truth, so instead he said well…. if I can’t beat em - then I’ll join em! Did Martin Luther go far enough? For me, this has helped to explain a number of biblical theologies that never really made sense to me. I’m still pulling it all together, but I think one of the biggest criteria in understanding a passage is that it would have to make sense. Stated another way, 1+1 = 2 - it just makes sense - it is apparent - there is no room for debate.
That’s what I’m after - not the one “true” church, but rather the truth. In my opinion, many of the churches have there own blend of theologies that are often subject to the individual whims of a pastor, but one thing is clear, we as the laity should be able to check the math from the source (e.g., the scriptures). I think it is fairly simple; the math should add up. 1 + 1 does not equal 3. Conveniently enough, we now have the dead sea scrolls and many of the ancient manuscripts available on the Internet. Every time I find a passage that doesn’t make sense - time to go learn Greek or Hebrew and guess what - free Bible scholars abound! What used to take 30 years to figure out can now be done in a couple because of the expansion of knowledge caused by the Internet. Even atheists are helping! They point me to contradictions in our English versions so that I can try to figure out what makes sense. Thanks guys!
My point here is to do your own scriptural homework. You need to know Yahweh better in order to save your marriage and a good place to start is His words. His words - focus on the red print if you have one of those conveniently color coded bibles. That will help you to fight the enemy wanting to annihilate your marriage - to do this you need understanding of both marriage and Yahweh. He has provided the keys to the kingdom in his words - translated into most languages in the world today (I think we’re still waiting on the language whistled on the canary islands).
Let me put this into another perspective. I attend RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation - i think) classes at the Catholic church. I’ve learned that there are many things that people outside of the “one true church” (I jest) do not understand about Catholic theology. In fact, I’d say that at least half of Catholics don’t understand Catholic theology and most that I’ve run into barely know the history of the Catholic church. What they do know is that there are more than 10,000 different brands of “christianity” and that they can’t all be right. Does that mean they could all be wrong though as well? Well I hope we’ve all at least got parts of it right. Recently (1992 - need a reference), the Catholic church and the Lutheran church agreed on some basics. One of the basics was that Salvation is based on faith in Jesus Christ (as He is called in America). That’s a big one. What happens to the souls who don’t believe or who are never exposed to Jesus? In some Muslim countries, owning a Bible = death I am told. Doesn’t seem overly fair to condemn someone to hell does it? How lucky am I for having been born in a “christian” country. I suppose if I happened to grow up on an island without access to missionaries, then it would really makes it difficult for me to believe in Christ. What happens to such souls? Some say they simply die or are totally annihilated - erased from existence. Well that’s better than hell forever I suppose and for me seems to make the most sense until someone presents a better way to explain all of this. Some say that we all go to heaven, but as much as I’d like and hope that is true, I’m doing some risk management here! Is Yahweh smart enough to know what happens to a gay man who stays with his wife, but keeps the 10 commandments? What about a gay man who believes in Jesus, but can’t resist his attraction to men? Hmm. I don’t know. What about smokers? Isn’t that defiling your body and probably breaking the laws of Moses at least in spirit? I guess the big question that Yahweh asks is where is your heart at? Is it in the right place?
Let me give you an example of where this can lead. I asked one guy in my RCIA class why he rejoined the Catholic church - he told me a story (from the 60s) about how he was bringing some poor folks he had met to the church. The pastors told him it was great that he was doing this while the poor folks were present. After they had left, the pastors said that he shouldn’t bring them back if they didn’t have any money. Was their heart in the right place? Do you know anyone like this? Then there are Catholics that are so hard pressed on the Catholic way - that salvation is only granted through the Catholic church, etc. (not quite unlike Christianity though). How dare you question the leaders, etc., Funny enough, Paul suggests that we should question the leaders to make sure what they are saying adds up. What is the greater sin though. If you believe that someone stands a risk, however remote in your mind, of going to hell for not believing in Yeshua, then isn’t the only moral and ethical thing to do - to practice intolerance for their false religious ideals. The Muslims do it all the time (in their minds), but I’ve done some homework and so far it just looks like a jumbled up version of the bible. Does that make me intolerant? Perhaps, but I am honestly concerned for their souls so still moral and ethical in my mind. I’m asking some seemingly “good” Muslims to better understand the “context” though - just to see if it adds up or not. I wish more protestants with a disdain for Catholics and vice versa would do the same, but I digress.
These are challenging questions; however, I believe the answers are in the scriptures - tucked away for anyone willing to understand and so are many of the answers for your marriage problems. I guess we’ll find out soon enough if Yahweh comes back to rule Earth directly, which I believe is less than 30 years away, but I digress. It will be total freakin annihilation for real! I’d be honored if He let me stick around to defend the faith during those times of woe. This should at least confirm your suspicion that I’m crazy though 
Now back to what in the world does this all have to do with your struggling marriage. Well, I was building a theme as best I could this whole time. Common enemies make lesser enemies friends - at least for awhile. This could buy you enough time to restore your marriage to enough stability to start working the problems.Are there common enemies that could unite you as a couple? I can think of one that is quite apparent - bills and occasionally mother-in-laws. Are there others? Time for you to do some homework huh? Find a common enemy to help unite you two again and if you are really sharp you’ll realize that the devil is the common enemy for your marriage and indeed the rest of humanity.
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