Okay folks – I’ve been doing some more “research” and what I’m about to show you may very well shock you to the core of your being. Remember, I am extremely analytical and do not give into “kooks” and ridiculous arguments about where we came from, who we are, where we’re going, how to save a marriage, etc.

I question everything – it is just in my nature (which is partially responsible for bringing our marriage to near divorce).

Brace yourself, please, and realize that you may not be ready for this or may not yet realize the significance. If you go to this site, and just kind of go … “hey i don’t see the big deal” – then yes you have missed it today, but try again another day.

Go back again once you are ready to listen. It is utterly fascinating.

I don’t care if you are “Christian”, “Easter Bunny”, “Catholic”, “Lutheran”, “Jewish”, “Muslim”, “Buddhist”, “Hindu”, “Taoist”, “Atheist”, “Agnostic”, “Jedi”, or any of the other “religions” that are out there.

I have been reading the site below and have been about as emotional as Richard Simmons for the last 3 days from everything I have learned and thought that I knew. I am normally about as emotional as Spock (Star Trek) – so don’t take this lightly.

It will seem a little scary at first – but will open your eyes to some things you may never have contemplated yet it is something you have known all along. It is pure reasoning like none I have ever seen.

It is a LONG read – much longer than this site, but ironically it may very well be exactly what you need to save your marriage.

I hope you find it as valuable as I did.

http://yadayahweh.com/Yada_Yahweh_Foundation.YHWH (160 hits)

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My wife and I have never really fought big-time over money – we’ve been fortunate in that regard; however, it has certainly been a part of several heated debates that went nowhere.

My wife likes to manage our money the old fashioned way – she uses a check book and one of those check register thingies that I know how to use, but have never been disciplined enough to mess with. I always just have a rough idea of how much money is in our account – I don’t need it down to the last cent to understand whether or not a check is going to clear. I just do a quick review of the statement to look for anything that looks funny – “Hey why is there a check to a lawyer in here?”.

We still have disagreements on how we should spend the money at times, but I did learn a little secret about women, trust, and money.

She wanted a new van. One of those new fangled Fords with fold up seats and what not. I did the math before hand and knew that economically – it wasn’t a viable option for us. Even with the improved fuel economy it wouldn’t make sense. Even if fuel were $5 a gallon – it wouldn’t make sense. We were still “upside down” on the note with our existent van.

Instead of telling her this though (or defeating her little dream) – I trusted her to make the right decision. We went down to the dealership and she talked to the saleman, went on a test drive, and fell in love with a new van – until she saw the price tag after they calculated the payments.

Wow – I trusted her to make the right decision and she did. Weird. That doesn’t mean she will always get it my way, but at what cost is having it “my way”. The little trip to the dealership cost us about $20 in fuel, but paid back huge dividends in demonstrating that I trusted her.

Now – it doesn’t always work out that easily for some couples right? My grandfather has maintained that one should always look out after one’s own money even while married. He and my grandmother have had separate checking accounts for well over 50 years. They have been married for well over 50 years. The beauty of this arrangement is that it helps that spouse who just can’t control themselves with the “our” money concept. By having to manage their own money – it becomes more real and allows them the freedom that they may be looking for. This is just one solution – there may be others.
My wife and I do this partially, but only so that we won’t know what the other bought for Christmas We still use one main account to pay bills.

• Guys – women like to “eyeball” stuff sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they want to buy it. Sometimes they are just dreaming a bit. There may be guys like that too, but I’ve only met one.
• Ladies – just remember when you say that you want something – it triggers an almost immediate problem solving mode in us guys – at least it does for me! Once we realize the problem can’t be solved – we may just get upset unless we are in the know about the previous rule.

and We now try to make financial decisions “our way”, it is sometimes a challenge – but well worth it. She now trusts me to perform the pure Return On Investment (ROI) analysis, and I trust her on the “family benefit” things not always captured by ROI!

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My wife went to the kiddos Christmas party at school just awhile ago.
So…. my wife calls me up and says “Honey, I forgot the camera.”

Immediately I begin thinking – “Does she want me to bring it?”, but I provide no answer.
After a brief pause she says “Is there anyway you could bring the camera up here?”

I immediately begin laughing. My wife has maintained that she hardly ever uses indirect communication. We have talked about this in the past – so this is a glaringly obvious example of indirect communication – a bit of irony. Maybe it isn’t funny to you, but you can at least learn from it.

By saying, “Honey, I forgot the camera” she was actually saying to me “Can you bring the camera?” In my experience that is a more female form of communication that sometimes us guys just miss.
While I recognize that in this instance it is obvious what she was asking – there are other times it may not be so. Does your wife sometimes use indirect communication and you miss what she is saying because you are a guy?

Something to think about.

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Has your wife said one of these to you as well:

• “It is over”
• “I have moved on”
• “We don’t have anything in common”

Whatever man – you can bring her back if you truly truly love her.

So……. when is it over you ask? How do you know if you love her? Well aren’t you out here on the Internet and somehow came to this site looking for an answer to “When is it over?” – doesn’t that tell you enough? Why else would you be doing that? What makes it over if you are still working on it?
So when is it over?

Simple answer – Once she has remarried. I believe that is the ONLY thing that can destroy a marital bond, and even then miracles are still possible.
Long answer – Whenever BOTH of you give up.

Have you given up or is it just her? If you haven’t you two still have all the chance in the world and it is worth it – believe me. It won’t be easy either, but it is worth it.
As long as there is at least one still fighting for the marriage it can be restored and turned into something more beautiful than you could possibly imagine.

I said this phrase to myself several times during the rough part of our marriage. I said it “It is over – the only way out is a divorce”. How little did I realize how wrong I was until later. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy man. It is whatever you say it is – I don’t care what she is doing right now.

My wife even told me “I have moved on – and I suggest you do the same”. Boy, was she wrong – I never gave up on her and we somehow made it through this.

Do yourself a favor. If you truly truly love her – stop saying those things and get away from people who encourage that kind of thinking. You can come back to them later, but for now steer clear. You don’t have to alienate them, but if someone is pushing you towards divorce – just become incredibly boring to them or something until you get through this mess. Time to read up and form a plan eh? You can start here – but either way start doing some homework to figure out how to get her back. Get to it man.

Okay – hopefully that will help someone and brighten the world just a bit.

In my next series, I’ll talk about the true meaning of life and my musings on the effect of the Pelponisian Wars the world today

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This post is for those who have finally managed to stave off the divorce after much pain, heart-ache, and probably weight loss!

Now that you have completed this quest – there is another one before you and it will be a significant risk to your marriage coming up. Make no mistake – your marriage will be on unstable ground for some time and there is always a risk that these troubled waters could come back.

You see, the enemy would prefer that you not keep all these changes that you have made. He wants you to have a rift in your family and in your life so that you can affect other lives in a negative way, just to spite God and try to prove God wrong. Are you going to let him have his way with your family? Don’t think the enemy is real – you are sadly mistaken, my friend.

If you are anything like me – the whole experience would have changed who you are on a fundamental level – but that does not mean the fight is over.

For example, I’ve now gotten to the point in my life of not even asking for physical intimacy anymore – well not as much Fortunately, it seems to be provided without my asking now. Weird how that works – not sure how long it will last, but it is nice.

That said, I know that our marriage will be attacked on another level now. I’m not sure from where it will come, but I am bracing for it when it happens.

Be wary of the calm sea for a storm is beyond the horizon.

It could be financial since we have been fortunate to have never really had to struggle that hard. Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely some Raman noodles for awhile, but we were still able to eat and our bills were at worst only a month behind.

It could be our kids or something else, but I know that it is coming and I will be on guard.

Marriage is a job (79 hits) man – don’t forget it.

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Don’t you want to be totally honest with your spouse? I know I did. I felt that it was a fundamental requirement that marriage must be built on. I’m not saying it isn’t, but don’t things get complicated sometimes?

Let’s try to walk-through a classic husband wife situation – “Do I look fat in this dress?” Have you ever heard that trick question?
Before I was married – I thought this was something that married people just make up – just like I didn’t believe that some Canadians really say “eh?” after everything they say before I met a wild bunch of Canadian firemen in a bar one time, but that is another story.

Would my wife and I have ever met if I wasn’t physically attracted to her? I’m not really sure – how sad is that – I guess it is just reality or nature or something, but I know for certain that after we did connect that I loved her so much that if even she became disfigured that wouldn’t change anything for me.

At one point my wife weighed over 200lbs after she had the kids and what not. She would always ask me if she looks fat. What a trick question! Wives really do say that. Perhaps it is just a myth that is self-perpetuating or something.

It really didn’t matter to me if she weighed 400lbs or 80 – but I wanted to be truly honest with her as some sort of need within me to have true intimacy – which I felt could only be had through brutal honest truth.

I’d respond to her trick question – “you look fine to me babe, but others may perceive you differently” or “You could lose a little, but you still look good to me.”

Oops. Not the right thing to say during the first couple of years of marriage. Once she got ready to leave me she would always bring that up. Annoying trick questions.
She did lose most of her weight as she was preparing to divorce me though! Apparently, that is a classic sign that she is either having an affair or is about to leave you.
One more thing – if you haven’t figured this out yet – if she is unhappy about the way she looks – she will most likely have a much harder time wanting to do the horizontal polka.

You see – I’m overweight a bit, but I’ve accepted it. I’d like to be a nice strapping buck – but working out is so hard and the weights are so heavy So if someone says that to me – it rolls right off my shoulder so naturally I would expect that she had just as thick of skin as I’ve got. Not the case at the time and definitely the wrong thing to say the first couple of years in a marriage. It takes time or a significant movement towards intimacy in your relationship before it can get to that level (the latter is what happened to us). In either case, there are nice ways to say things and you should never say anything mean if you can avoid it. I’m not promoting walking on egg-shells to hide the truth, but just wording things a bit better because you love her.

Besides – it doesn’t matter what you really think anyway – she read that on your facial expressions before you uttered a single word.

I eventually got smart enough to not answer that one using such brutal honesty when she was fat, but now we are at a level of truth that we can say the true answer without the other being offended. It is growth in our relationship. If I do have something really challenging that I feel I need to say – I think it over for awhile so that I say it right without hurting her. That is another way to display love even though you may feel like you are giving up your own pride.

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My wife was really doing some crazy stuff when we were in the lowest part of our marriage. Thinking back – at some point I became convinced that she was bipolar or had some other disability. I felt sorry for her, but didn’t know how to help her. I viewed it as something that she probably couldn’t even help – it was just inate in her. I viewed it as a disorder. Hmm – what about physical disorders. If my wife got in a car accident and became limbless and unable to have sex would I then say -

“Sorry honey – you know that until death do us part part – well that doesn’t count since you now are missing your limbs. You have breached contract.”
Does not the same apply if your wife starts to lose it? I know mine did – I didn’t figure out until later that she was going crazy because of me mainly, but I still wanted to help her if it was some sort of thing she couldn’t help. I started reaching out to her and kept getting slapped back in the face – figuratively. I started thinking of it like person who was mentally ill at some point. You would help such a person – so why would you not help your wife the same? What if she really is bipolar? Is that your opt out clause?

I started searching Google for marital advice on women with BiPolar disorder. There isn’t a whole lot out there. We even had her put on Wellbutrin. Fortunately for me, my wife was willing to be tested for this kind of thing just in case it was her – that was about 6 months before she filed though.
What is the point to all of this? If you love her man – she may be doing some crazy stuff to you – just trying to hurt you because she is so angry with something – possibly you. Just expect the worst and it won’t be so hard. Once you start cleaning up all the things that you are doing to her or helping sort out her demons only then can she start to recognize how crazy she is acting.

You may even find out that the demons she is sorting out are from you. I’m still not sure on this because her family does have a history of it, and the counselor thought she was too, but hopefully time will help us work through this.

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Interesting site – http://liberalslikechrist.org/politicalmenu.htm (247 hits)

I certainly don’t subscribe to many of the views, but it does challenge one’s thinking.

The part that was really interesting was the divorce stats.

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This post is designed to make you think about how you got here with your marriage and possiby how to get out of this mess. Here’s a clue – lawyers ain’t it. This post may be a bit challenging to read – I’m testing out the use of metaphors in fact the whole post is one big metaphor. I’m likely going to say a few things that are offensive to many. Remember, the purpose of this is to make you think and as part of that process you may very well get upset. These are some of the questions that I have asked myself and includes some of my own answers that have been formed as part of rescuing the relationship with my wife. The good news though, is that this is the level of challenge that you need with your thinking on your marriage if you truly want to save it.  You may not agree with everything I say, but that is okay with me. You can make up your own mind.

So….. one of the fundamental premises of Christianity is that you’ve got to believe in Jesus to make it into heaven, right? Darn annoying arrogant Christians always thinking they have the keys to the Kingdom. Always pushing their arrogant ways on everyone. Hmm – nevermind all the good that is done through them. Let’s just focus on the bad stuff right – the Crusades; abortion clinic bombers; fire and brimstone preachers; and priests putting their hands on little boys.

Yeah, I recognize it for what it is. Those things suck. Remember, though we ain’t perfect – just trying to get there and sometimes even evil can get mixed into the various churches that embody Christianity.

That said – the core is very clear – Christ saved us if we believe in him.

Easy there Captain – hear me out, especially if you are an “open minded” atheists or mystic.

I read your arguments all the time, but you aren’t even going to give me the time of day because I said Christ? Sheesh. It is just the word. Where is the “open mind”?

For the benefit of the mystics and atheists, what if we just replace the word Christ with Easter Bunny. Would that ease that nervousness? Would that cool that turmoil in your soul? Everyone likes the Easter Bunny He brings candy and stuff. I like candy. Let’s use the Easter Bunny as metaphor for Christ in this discussion until you are ready. I once was where you are at and think it will make this easier for you.

We Easter Bunnians (remember – metaphorically to ease the burden of our atheist and agnostic brethren) are called to love our enemy. Yes – even you the Mystic, Muslim, or the Atheist who came here to debate me and poke fun at my beliefs and call me a fruit-cake.

First, it may be in there, but as I understand of love of one’s enemy is not really taught by most of your major religions. That is one thing I think makes the core message different for Easter Bunnianity. Don’t get me wrong there is plenty of helping people in need in each of them – look at Ghandi, for example. There is also plenty of hurting of one’s enemy all around. Just look at some of these bad dudes cutting off the heads of basically innocent people on TV in the name of their Allah. Are these just bad apples (91 hits) that don’t represent the core of that the Islamic faith just as much as our abortion clinic bombing and altar boy molesting priests do not embody Easter Bunnianity?

In any case, it seems that we still worship the same God. Easter Bunnians are the “adopted” sons and daughters (9 hits) of Abraham much to the dismay of the Jews. Hey that was my God – give Him back. The Muslims and Jews are all are sons and daughters of Abraham as well it just seems to be a question of which mother Ishmael and Jacob came from. Then we have Hitler who called himself an Easter Bunnian. Sheesh it is all so confusing. What is a good despiser of organized religion to do?
Do you think Hitler missed the part about loving one’s enemies, neighbors, etc. Even ol’ Martin Luther started to lose it in the end and started some nice Jew bashing, right?. Some circles have even attributed this to some of Hitler’s rational for exterminating Jews in WWII. What happens when Easter Bunnians get it wrong? Well, altar boys get molested, wars are started, and it may even be possible for books to have been added to the Bible. That is the true enemy at work and it seems that he is now at work on your marriage.

What about these zealots? These people flying aeroplanes into our symbols of prosperity and these machine gun toting sadists? Is that the message of Islam or just some more bad apples hanging out a little bit too much with the altar boys?

Let’s turn this around though. If these crusaders truly believed that you may have to suffer an eternity if you don’t turn to their way – would it not be better to get you to come to the Easter Bunny no matter what the cost it would be to you in this earthly life? Would it not be worth while to even torture you, have you lose most of your blood, give you a blood infusion just to keep you alive for another session until you turned – if only to spare you the eternals of hell?

Think of eternity – as long as it would take us to cross the entire universe with a horse and even then it would not have started. Isn’t that worth a beating or two just to get people to turn to the Easter Bunny?

Well, I admire the zeal, but it seems Slightly misplaced.

Hopefully this got your attention about your soul in the same way that your wife got your attention about your marriage. What do you really believe?

Are you nothing more than a evolved collection of chemicals that walks and talks and feels pain and sincerely wants his wife to return? Where did that desire come from? Is it just that your chemicals have evolved to want to be with another set of chemicals so that you can ensure the survival of your own special blend of chemicals? That was kind of fun to say.

I’m not the best darn Bible scholar on the planet, but I think I know the Bible a little better than your average Catholic. I also suspect that there was stuff handed down that was never written in the Bible that is plausible for Easter Bunnyism. Is it possible that there is some stuff that only the popes and bishops know about that was handed down directly from the Easter Bunny through tradition? Perhaps they just can’t explain everything we need to know and we wouldn’t believe them anyway. Perhaps they waited until they could better distribute the information with the advent of the printing press. It is also possible, that some books were added (83 hits) to stave off a huge splintering effect in Easter Bunnyism.
I was raised Catholic and still attend the Catholic church and stuff, but I’ve realized now that the basics about the Easter Bunny are somewhat difficult to get to through the Catholic church for many people. It is really simple though once you have been informed. I like the traditions and stuff, but that’s not what I believe will get me into heaven The traditions just provide me a framework that I’m used to. I like to follow them as my own little way of saying thank-you – not because I have to but because I want to.

Now let’s equate Easter Bunnyism with your wife. Would you rather her bed with you because she is forced to or because she wants to? That is how it is with the love of the Easter Bunny. That is why you have the choice and that is why these violent zealots have got it all wrong. Your marriage is a metaphor for your relationship with the Easter Bunny.
Even you “Easter Bunnians” – do you think you really know the Easter Bunny?

Maybe you do, but I ask you to stick around too please. Heck maybe I’m off the beaten path here and need to be set back on course. However, if you are here looking for advice on how to save your marriage – it is a safe bet that you’ve only recently began your transformation in the Easter Bunny.

Okay – this is all easy for me to say. I was given a miracle.

“To those who are given much – much will be expected each according to their abilities”. I paraphrased a bit – I’ll have to put the references back in later, but basically I’ve got a job to do now since I’ve been given so much. And it is not the rules man, it is my little way of saying Thanks to Him!

That brings up the question “What about those who have never been given anything?”

I once read about a group of cave dwelling families found living in Korea (need a reference). Apparently, these families had been living in isolation for thousands of years. They would likely never have heard of the Easter Bunny until National Geographic showed up and then only if there happened to be a preacher with the National Geographic crew. So….. I presume that these guys have never heard of the Easter Bunny. Does that mean they get a one way ticket to hell? Does it ????? Tough question.

Seems inherently unfair if this is the case, but it also seems to be a fundamental requirement, right? I guess that depends on if you subscribe to salvation through faith and works (109 hits) or faith alone.
I’ve always heard as I grew up in the Catholic Church something like this “Well as long these people were good people (194 hits) – you know – no beating their wife, no damaging their neighbors cave, etc. they can just go through Purgatory (116 hits) and eventually get in the door.” Pray for them. This is included in the Catechism (109 hits) of the Church as well.
The protestants will say that purgatory was a fabrication – but really – what happens to those uninformed souls? Is it possible that they were predestined to eternal damnation? Is it possible that He is using this world as one big experiment to train a few souls worthy to stand in His presence or do all souls eventually go to Heaven (98 hits)? Is it all a big waste since He knows where it will all end anyway. What then? Does that make our cave dwelling family simply children that belong to Him already (ref)?

Have you ever thought that maybe, this whole experience is one big gift from Him just to brace you, his special creation, for Heaven because you wouldn’t have been ready until prepared. Have you ever thought that perhaps your whole life is not even in time – but that time was just something he fabricated to give your simple consciousness some perspective and training before coming to Him? Has he put you in this path and given you a sense of time even though time may be absolutely meaningless to Him?

In this thing called, time, He is the ultimate project planner and about 6 months ago he sent my wife and I into turmoil only for me to right this today for you, and for you to read this text, and for it to do some good for you.

What about those who busted their rear end to get in? Isn’t that unfair too? Mother Theresa who helped all those poor poor Indians was once reported to say that she never felt the touch of the Easter Bunny. What? How could she not know the Easter Bunny?

I don’t know, but I’m not sure how she couldn’t have been enabled to help those people so much without the spirit of the Easter Bunny.

What about Ghandi? He helped millions/billions? of people and didn’t know the Easter Bunny either, right? I’ll paraphrase, but he once said something like – I don’t have a problem with Easter Bunnianity – just Easter Bunnies. Ouch Ghandi.

Was he talking about these “Easter Bunnies” that cut you off on the freeway? You know – the ones with a big Escalade and a little Calvin and Hobbes sticker on the back that has a cross with it? How about the car with the little fish that has cross inside it? Ever been pushed off the highway by one of those guys? Was that a Easter Bunnian driving? Are those the Easter Bunnians that Ghandi was referring to? Is that you?

Remember, I like to test argument’s to the extreme – play devil’s advocate that kind of stuff just to make sure my thinking is right I hope it is not as annoying to you as it was to my wife
Why doesn’t this loving God just turn us loose in Heaven and be done with it. Why do we need a savior? Couldn’t he have just made us perfect so that we wouldn’t have to go through the pain of life and the pain of a wife trying to divorce us?

Well where is the fun in that and what value does it have? Would you rather earn riches or be born into them? Would you rather your wife be a sex slave or would you prefer that she be your willing partner? Ironically, you were already born into riches, if you can just accept it. This time in your earthly life is an opportune time to do some soul searching to figure out where you gotten off the path. This may be a gift – just like a father disciplining his child. It is a wake up call.

Now back to it.

As I understand it or at least as I was taught in Catholic school, the Catholic “interpretation” of the Bible is that there is this place called Purgatory that allows for the atonement of sins prior to entry to Heaven for those who knew the Easter Bunny and were never fully cleansed by Him, and those who were good people. The idea is that this place is for the “good people” – that is, non- wife beating cave dwellers and Ghandi too, but sorry Hitler you get to stay down there in that fiery pit. Now I may have twisted this just a bit, but that is how I have understood it my whole life, and that’s how most Catholics I know understand it so we may have a training problem if I’ve got this wrong. You’d think that after 13 years of Catholic school that if this weren’t the Catholic Church’s teaching I would have uncovered it. I recently learned that the Catechism of the Catholic Church (109 hits) is intended for those who have been trained in it and can be taken out of context.
Okay, the Protestant core is exact opposite unless you are a Catholic that “gets it”. As I understand it, the Protestant way is generally that you must be reborn in the Easter Bunny – he completely takes the hit for your sins and gets you into heaven – your works may determine where you get to live in heaven or how much peace you will have in your life on a daily basis. I know I’ll probably wind up on the other side of the rail-road tracks. Another way to say it is that your works are the evidence that the Easter Bunny is acting through you via the Holy Spirit. The transformation of the Easter Bunny has occured in you and your name has now been written in the book of life.

Now this is fairly main stream Easter Bunnyism except for your rouge “Liberated (93 hits)” churches that believe that it is okay to have “responsible sex” with more than one partner in our marriages never mind the very clear original statement that the two are joined as one flesh in Genesis. I don’t know – multiple partners while married – sounds a bit Branch Davidian.

False Prophets and Anti-Christs are everywhere including within the various Easter Bunny Churches. Am I one for challenging you like this?

Then of course you have the Methodist churches. As I understand it they believe – all paths get you to heaven or maybe they just like to sell a soft message to build up the ol’ congregation. Is it the idea that it is easier to bring people in and eventually save their soul or is it that self motivated to build a congregation which may be a lucrative profession? Not sure, but it can be confusing business at times.
Martin Luther used to love to call the Catholic Church the “anti-Christ”. With good reason at the time. The Catholic Church was more or less hey give me $100 bucks, I can assure you that your dead mother will make it into Heaven. It is still around, but now candles are used instead and are typically somewhat hard to find. My grandmother actually lit two candles for our marriage when it was on the rocks. It must have helped since we are together now, but imagine all the money the Catholic Church made off of my grandmother’s two dollars. I jest.

I imagine the Neo-Nazi’s are stuffing the Catholic Church coffers full of dollars where possible to assure that Hitler has a place in heaven. Okay – that was a bit on the fringe, but I am trying to challenge you – not make you feel good inside, at least not yet, on this post.

Now let’s go over a couple of things. I’ve been given a lot – so I believe that Christ has saved me – pointed me in the right direction, there is no turning back – that kind of thing. But does that apply to our cave dwelling friends, Ghandi, and Mother Theresa?

I really want our cave dwelling friends to be allowed entrance into heaven. How would they do that given this situation of Christ alone? They may even believe somewhat. Perhaps it is something like – Christ yeah that sounds plausible – sign me up. Either way, it doesn’t matter because it’s not my decision.
It is a dangerous game to play since your immortal soul is on the line. When did you start playing the game? Is it today? Is it the day that you first became informed?

Now that you have been informed is it possible that you are no longer a child and you must now grow up? Does this mean that you must turn to the good book and pray for God to reveal to you whether it is true to you or not? You could pray like Jimmy Stewart did in “It’s a Wonderful Life” and then read it for yourself or you could do like the atheists do – read a several thousand year old book as though it were a newspaper written yesterday and then take a couple of quotes, take them completely out of context, and then say “ah – hah the Easter Bunny was a phony!”

Not much better than the news media on politicians. I don’t think you have a choice any longer. Well you have a choice, but to reject it might like the following hypothetical situation:

Hey cold starving homeless man – would you like a turkey dinner – all you gotta do is go through this door here and they are handing them out. The only downside about these turkey dinners is that the people handing them out give you a bath and clean you up, give you a suit, give you job training, and get you ready to reenter society, and I hear they even have a match making service to find a woman for you. You’ll have to wait in line.

No thanks – I’ve got a nice park bench and a trashcan with all the left over sandwiches I can eat. I’ll take my chances with the park bench and sandwiches.

Oh and will you please quit trying force your turkey dinner on me?

Umm okay – whatever you want man.

It is really an awesome thing once your name has been written into the book of life and you are reborn through the Easter Bunny. Heck maybe you are already there, I don’t know, but I’ve got to focus on those that aren’t. Bear fruit – spread the Good News. If you are reborn – it sounds like you should say thanks to the Easter Bunny as well.

People sit there and go to church all their lives and say “yeah I believe”, but you can hear the hesitation in their voice. You can feel that part that just says somewhere deep down inside they have that sliver of doubt. I fear for them, because they have been informed and are now accountable.

Good thing there is a purgatory though, eh? Hold on a second you say – there’s not a purgatory in my Bible. Purgatory is from those books that the Catholics made up (101 hits) after Martin Luther called them on the sale of indulgences and purgatory. Well I’m not sure I have my own answers on this just yet, but I do know that if there is a risk that purgatory doesn’t exist then I’m going to inform as many people as I can about the Easter Bunny. It simply doesn’t matter whether it exists or not – I’ll just have to wait till I die to find out.
Let’s get back to this concept of how fundamentally unfair it seems. Or is it?

Is it possible that this life is training for the next? If you want to walk with your Creator and the Easter Bunny – doesn’t that mean you would need to be capable of the part? Is this life perhaps a gestation period to prepare us? Stated another way – would you let a child drive your car or a fetus drink from a bottle of formula? If you were a child, would you try to drive your Father’s car? I know I didn’t, but I did sneak one of my dad’s cigarettes one time.

But you say being good is so hard and I don’t want to be good. I want to smoke my earthly Dad’s cigarettes. This is exactly the same thing as trying to save your marriage buddy. Have some faith and once you are transformed – being good becomes so much easier. You will be tested and with the Easter Bunnie’s spirit you can pass the test. Were you already a good man? Is it possible that you are now being tested just like ol’ Job? If you struggled with the good part, then the Easter Bunny can help you institute the changes that she needs you to make.

Get out of the driver’s seat buddy and let the Easter Bunny drive.

Now why is this so hard to believe? Somehow you have been lead to believe that little rectangle pieces of paper with green ink and pictures of heads of state are worth something. You just accept it right? Then why is this such a challenge? It is real man – even though you can’t see it – can’t you feel it? Christ is real and he loves you and if you let Him he can help you get your wife back. Better pray for what He wants though, not what you want.

Either way – don’t take my word for it. Read the Book yourself and decide.

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I thought I’d retell the story of the day I added the last grain of sand to my wife’s back.

We got into an all night debate errr argument, which I kept egging on (spelling??). I said some things I shouldn’t have. She shutdown and quit engaging and said I was already
“signing the papers”.

I went to work and came back home early the next day. I asked her

“Are you sure you want to do this?” “Are you sure you want to get a divorce?”

I suppose it was some way of relieving my own guilty conscience of my part of the
constant arguing we had in our marriage. It would be her fault is what I told myself. Some of it very well may have been; however, it no longer mattered at that stage. What did matter was this in her mind she hadn’t done anything wrong.

We were both pointing the finger at each other more so than accepting our own contributions to where we were at.

At the time, I didn’t know that it simply doesn’t matter how much she has
contributed to whatever problems exist in the marriage. She couldn’t
change until I did because she was so far gone.

I told her “I don’t want this – you are the one who wants the divorce”

She didn’t care any more. She wanted out no matter the costs.

I repeatedly asked “Are you sure?” It was yes every time.

Now I’ve been doing some homework on the Internet and realized that this is
the point at which point many people give up on their spouse.

It is NOT over at this stage fellas. I repeat it is NOT over.

Even after you sign the papers it isn’t over.

Don’t make the mistake I did. Once she said this, I immediately began legal
maneuvering and formed a todo list of things to out maneuver her
legally. I thought I would be the big smart guy here. I found out from my lawyer that now a days, in most cases – this is a waste of time (at least in the great state of Texas). It
seems that judges, at least in my state, no longer like to rake the man
over the coals as much as they used to, you’ll still get to see the kids, all that stuff unless there are really bad circumstances with your marriage. You should check out what judges typically do in your local area to understand whether this applies to you, and understand just how bad of a husband you have been. Is your state a “no fault” “community property” state? Find out.

All this “legal” posturing does is make it worse. It took me about three to four
days to figure this out. After I spoke with my lawyer, I realized there is no option, but to prevent the divorce. I decided that no matter the cost it was worth me going into extreme debt if that is what it took to preserve our family.

What I did instead was to negotiate a truce with her so that the “lawyers wouldn’t get all the money” and so that I wouldn’t effectively become her slave. I told her no matter how much you hate me right now – it still isn’t right to just ruin the rest of my life.

Divorce is a form of control.

I offered to make it as smooth of a transition as possible. That at least kept the communications open long enough for me to figure out how to bring her back. Then I started reading like crazy and buying ebooks left and right. I did lock her out of the checking accounts and such, but let her know I was doing this not to hurt her, but to protect the both of us because I still had hope and since I was the only one contributing towards saving the marriage this responsibility fell on me.

I did continue to support her – I just didn’t want her to ruin both of us since she was very spiteful and unpredictable at the time. I told her this in a gentle way.

Finally, after reading and reading I reached the conclusion that I would have to do this on an emotional and spiritual level to bring her back. I just had faith in God like I had never had my whole life. A sense of peace or calm came over me. After the truce, I started releasing the “protections” that I had previously enabled and asked her if I would be able to “trust” her. I told her that I was putting myself in harm’s way for her and our marriage. Then I started getting on my knees and praying at night for extended periods. Out of the blue, someone referred me to a Christian marriage coach.

I tore up my legal “todo” list and instead wrote an emotional and spiritual “todo” list based on everything I had read and learned from my marriage coach. I started asking her out on dates to which began reluctantly agreeing to.

It ain’t ever over boys – even if she’s moved out. Now I must qualify that with – we never made it to that stage – she was about a week away from moving out, but I have heard about other people’s stories where their spouse had moved out and was living with someone else and the marriage was still restored. Filter this last paragraph appropriately.

Unconditional love, faith in God, good books, good coaching, and patience is all it takes. Geez is that all? Well, I never said it would be easy, but nothing worth working for ever is. I tell you man – if you give it your all it will be the most amazing experience you have ever had besides perhaps the birth of your children if you have them.

Go home and tell your wife you love her – she could be taken away from you before you even know what hit you.

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