Word has come through the grape vine that there are family members of mine reading this site and not fully understanding the purpose or me. I’m not surprised, that is the story of my life.

The purpose is that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. As stated in the headline of this site, I’m documenting what works and what doesn’t. If nothing else people can learn from my mistakes.

When I started on this project the objective was to document the road. I knew there were times where I would lose my mind and that it would be one big roller coaster. I knew that different aspects of self would come forth and I wanted to document the compelxity of the human machine as I went through the divorce in the hopes that it would provide sufficient knowledge for others to not traverse this path, to avoid this pain, and to save their own marriages. I knew I would contradict myself over and over and wanted to catch myself in the act so as to find TRUTH!

I’ve learned more in 2 years than I learned in my previous 25 or more; however, I am now turning this blog private to avoid inflicting further harm. I’m now reaching a point in my growth where I realize that what I write can have a damaging effect on unprepared minds and I still have so much left to learn so I could inadvertently damage someone. Sorry, I’m not trying to insult, but just stating reality. There is a karma involved here and one I should have repented of some time ago. I’m repenting now.

At present, I believe we have about 20 marriages saved as a result of this effort. When I started this project, I figured if 1 (one) could be saved – it was worth doing. I never thought, that I would be attempting to save my own again, but such is life.

Some of the things I wrote early on invited MAJOR testing into my life. I’m now repenting of that and hoping that GRACE may kick in.

I will continue to write this as a private blog and those regular readers are more than welcome to register and get an account or whatever.

I shall refer to the “forces above” as God. You may call it Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Jesus, Cosmic Buddha, Nature’s God, the Force, Krishna, or Bob – whatever floats your fancy, I’ll just call it God below. It is much more complex than that, and yet paradoxically simple.

I have made an exhaustive study of most of the major world religions and have determined the following based on my own efforts, experiences, and reading approximately 30,000 pages of religious texts, books, and commentary, and more GRACE than I could ever imagine would be shown an arrogant guy like me.

These are the lessons I have learned:

There is more and I may update this post, but am turning the rest of this blog private.

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Well, within the last week I’ve had my mother and father law divorce, one of my best friends, and another old friend. All within the span of two weeks. Wow.

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Well, my mother and father in law are legally divorced as of today. What bittersweet irony that I was in court yesterday.

Other things in the news.

Apparently there are entities or an entity that is moving things around in my mother in law’s house and at my wife’s house. My sister in law got possessed temporarily by some entity that likes to cuss a lot. My wife has our kids wearing rosaries now.

Much of my reading into the first century church includes the idea that just eating veggies instead of meat was a great way of keeping out those pesky disincarate spirits, associated minions, and ministers some more sinister than minister.

Anyway, I never got around to posting this, but I feel the timing is now right. Me and the Mrs. met about two weeks ago to discuss the demons attacking her house.

In response to my wife’s request to meet about such things I wrote her the following after we met and read it to her over the phone:

Regarding our conversation about certain things today. Not telling you what to do, but here are some things that would probably help. If you like I can definitely cite sources AND personal experiences, but will
defer that unless you ask.

Shohn

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Shalom ______,

You asked about my forgiveness exercises because you thought it may be helpful in clearing some perhaps hidden anger that could be affecting your child. I’m writing a diatribe because I plan to post this to my blog (glassgloves.com), but also need your permission first. Your name will not be mentioned nor anything that could connect you.

The trouble with my forgiveness is that it seems that the issues with my wife continue to manifest; however, it seems the severity is waning and perhaps things from the left hand of correction are apparently moving against my wife now. Recently, we began seeing much more severe problems with our eldest daughter (technically my step-daughter). It has gotten so bad that CPS (child protective services) got involved. This could be the left hand moving I suppose that could be just part of her life plan and perhaps not so much directly correlated with my internal forgiveness work; however, the timing is remarkably uncanny. Of course, my wife ascribes this unpleasantness to things beyond the break up of our family, which is normal given the current “part” she is playing in our mutual growth and development (i.e., all of the world is a stage). I view the break up as the central issue and these other things as symptoms of that issue, she views the other issues as unrelated. Right. Her parents are in court today. Unrelated.

In terms of forgiveness exercises, in recognizing that in many ways my wife and indeed any woman that I’ve ever been with and vice versa will exchange various “psychic” / etheric connection data I had to work on me before anything could ever ever change with her. Indeed, this is confirmed by many relationship self-help books, but they don’t explain why. The why is due to the male-female relationship etheric reflective dynamics (i.e., sun – moon) I believe.

I also had to understand that it was likely that we (not us – but our souls) had done this before and in many ways perhaps she was merely acting as a mere reflection of things deep down inside of me that had yet to manifest. I had to ask myself, under what conditions would I manifest such things? I had to see from her point of view as well.

To see from her point of view I had to study her, get to really know her, understand why she thinks the way she does and then imagine myself functioning without the benefit of logic at certain points. Knowing someone and KNOWING them are two different things. I had to really KNOW her (as best I am able) and without the benefit of an active sexual connection. Therefore, I took her life as I knew it and drew it out on paper and started asking questions. I drew out her birth, her father figures, etc. I noted that she kept experiencing the same problems over and over. I did the same to myself.

I also got an astrologer to do an analysis of myself and her and I learned a lot about the both of us in that way. Then I sought out to learn astrology and learned a lot more about the different things and aspects that form the perspective of understanding and various spheres of mind that different people see out of and what not. I still have mixed feelings on this because I have yet to get a consistent reading across astrologers, but I have found that the “mirror” that they provide is invaluable in learning about oneself and the different aspects within. It is a tool. I figure it has about 40% accuracy at present. It is not a religion. It is not the end all be all. There is a lot of junk out there. It is not a science – it is more like poetry. I know this scares many people as well, so take it with a grain of salt.

With all this ground work done, I had to set out to actually forgive her and the harder part – forgive my self.

I would go for a walk and ask to be shown the behaviors and things that she was reflecting back to me. Images and scenes from the past would appear in the back of my mind and I would try to see it from her point of view. Things I never intended for harm, would be shown in a new light. Some things I should have done better. Some things I simply lacked emotional maturity on.

I would then do some internal dialog almost like gollum on Lord of the Rings and try to reconcile the internal aspects that were hurting.

It couldn’t be manipulation of these other aspects or “children within”, nor could it be for the purpose of making the pain or children go away, but rather to bring that part forward and fully feel and express the emotions. This became what I call self-invoking.
I would do my best to maintain split-brain awareness. This means – a part of me would be crying its eyes out, and another part would be consoling and encouraging, and another part would be simply observing.

The parts that needed it would scream at the top of their lungs what they were feeling – be it anger, resentment, even hate, or whatever. I had to do this where noone could see it for obvious reasons.

As the different scenes would play out in the back of my mind, I would reconcile them as best I could by giving them “reasons” to forgive. It would often take a form of “forgive them – they know not what they do”.

After doing all of this, I noted that she called to apologize for the first time in a long long time and this became more part of her pattern. Lately she says “I wasn’t trying to make you feel this way or that”, but after a couple days switches back into the cold resentful gal she’s been for almost three years now. The thing to recognize is that I go through similar peaks and valleys and that in many ways she is reflecting not just me, but a lot of stress from what I think may be the left hand of God stepping in now. Towards this end, I have done my best to “educate” her on what is happening and to say that if I am wrong then things will get better (more pleasant), if I am right they will get worse (less pleasant), etc. I do this soley to provide information and I tell her that she is accountable for what she does with it given that she considers herself a Christian and what not. Things have indeed become less and less pleasant for her, but I can’t be certain as to the reasons why – it could be part of her life plan.

The rest of the time I pray light around her, the house where she resides, her mind, the kids, etc. and thornbushes around her and any would be men trying to make their way into our family. I also pray for her eyes to be opened to the truth, etc. and as best I can “not my will, but thy will be done”. Easier said that done – I know.

If any of this was hard to understand please let me know.

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Went to court today. They weren’t ready apparently. I watched and observed as her attorney gave incorrect information to my lawyer. Her lawyer reported that my wife has not been communicating with her. It was almost as though she lied, but I couldn’t say for sure.

The judge was supposedly a bit miffed at opposing counsel for not having their stuff ready, but I wasn’t miffed about this.

I was there and the Mrs. wasn’t.

Perhaps there are reasons why they weren’t ready.

To top things off – I was called down to pick up two of my kiddos from CPS yesterday. There is trouble within my beloved’s current house, though I don’t want to go into details. CPS had me sign a document stating that I would have them until Dec 17th. I called CPS and they haven’t responded yet.

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Our final decree status hearing is scheduled for Nov 18.

In an ironic twist, my mother and father in law have their hearing scheduled for the following day.

Coincidence or message from above?

I guess it depends on one’s eyes.

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So me and my estranged wife met to talk tonight. We talked for a record breaking full hour face to face. I even held her hands to comfort her on something. She looked into my eyes. I looked into hers. We kissed and made out. Just kidding about that last part.

But, I bet you’d never guess that she wanted to discuss the demonic attacks that she says are happening in her household and that temporarily possessed her sister. Talk about an ice-breaker. It was sort of odd how it all went down.

My wife is pretty freaked out at the moment though it appears she has developed a sense of humor. She asked me for some demon repellent. I so wanted to say… well, come back home – restore our marriage for starters would probably help, but I bit my tongue.

Send some light and prayer please for her and the kids.

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Thanks Heavenlies.

She called me this morning to apologize for something that happened last night. It was first thing in the morning about 8ish. She’s NEVER done that. I know it may not mean anything. I know I know. Still though, my jaw dropped. She apologized – unprompted. What in the world is going on with her? I’m so used to her having an icy demeanor that it is weirding me out a little.

She also invited me in to her house when I picked the kids up this last time. I got to use her restroom again.

I’ve been practicing being mindful of my thoughts as much as I can remember lately. I’ll have a resentment come up and if I catch it in time, I’ll do some self-talk and say over and over “I forgive myself. I forgive her. I am growing closer to God.” or very similar affirmations. Another thing is trying to work on the positive self-programming.

This is harder. One has to face “reality” on some things, yet the words one chooses can make all the difference in the world in terms of how one views things. An unpleasant situation can be flipped into a test or viewed as an opportunity for growth,etc. Easier said than done, but baby steps.

Today is the 2 year anniversary since she moved out.

Happy halloween sweetheart. Wish you were here with me and the kids – together at last. Love you still.

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I was talking to my daughter on the phone the other day. I started joking around with her and then asked “What is the true meaning of life?”. It is a sort of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy thing. My daughter surprised me though. She didn’t even skip a beat or have to think about it. She immediately responded “Love Daddy, it’s all about love. Just love!”.

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The following News Article is an original news article and is posted on the following link:
http://www.themilitant.com/2009/7342/734204.html

Judge denies marriage license to interracial Louisiana couple
BY JACQUIE HENDERSON

HOUSTON—The refusal of a judge to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple in Hammond, Louisiana, has outraged many.

Beth Humphrey, a 30-year-old Hammond resident who works for a marketing company, called Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, October 6 about getting a marriage license.

Humphrey is white. The man she planned to marry, 32-year-old welder Terence McKay, is Black.

The justice’s wife asked if the couple was interracial and told her that Bardwell would not sign the license if they were.

“We are used to the closet racism, but we’re not going to tolerate that overt racism from an elected official,” Humphrey told CNN.

“I don’t do interracial marriages because I don’t want to put children in a situation they didn’t bring on themselves,” Bardwell told the press.

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” he told AP, adding that he had “piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

“I simply can’t believe he can do that. That’s blatant discrimination,” Humphrey told the Hammond Star Tribune. Humphrey and McKay got a certificate signed October 9 by another justice and married. “This doesn’t take care of the problem,” Humphrey told CNN. Bardwell has “been in his position for 34 years. So, it doesn’t take care of the problems that we have to deal with on a daily basis.”

The couple has support from many in Hammond as indicated by letters in the papers. David Hyde, a 51-year-old musician in Hammond, told the Militant, “We need to organize some protests of this outrage.”

In 1908 Louisiana officials adopted statutes declaring that “concubinage between the Caucasian or white race and any person of the Negro or black race” is a felony subject to imprisonment from one month to one year, with or without hard labor.

In 1921 the state prohibited “Negro and white families” from living in the same dwelling place and in 1932 added that “no person or corporation shall rent an apartment house or other like structure to a person who is not of the same race as the other occupants.”

That same year the state prohibited “Negroes and Indians” from marrying each other. In 1952 the state prohibited marriage between whites and “persons of color,” stiffening the penalty to up to $1,000 and/or five years imprisonment. The Louisiana statutes were voided by the 1967 Supreme Court verdict in the case Loving v. Virginia.

In 1958 Richard Loving, a bricklayer who was white, and Mildred Jeter, Black and Native American, married in Washington, D.C., because interracial marriage was illegal in Virginia, where they lived.

A few weeks after they returned home they were arrested for violating Virginia’s Racial Integrity Act of 1924. This law forbade those interracial couples that marry out of state from returning as husband and wife. They were sentenced to one year in jail. They received suspended sentences after agreeing not to return to Virginia together for 25 years.

In 1963, as mobilizations led by Black working people against segregation reached a high point, the Lovings decided to fight the reactionary law. They filed a lawsuit that slowly made its way through the courts. The state courts held that Virginia had legitimate purposes “to preserve the racial integrity of its citizens,” and to prevent “the corruption of blood.”

In a 1967 ruling the Supreme Court overturned all the previous decisions upholding the ban. The court said, “The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.”

At the time 16 states banned marriage between people of different races. South Carolina’s constitutional ban wasn’t removed until 1998 and Alabama’s only in 2000.

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